Interview with Ali Crean-Making Love 101

Wow! Awesome interview HERE. Check it out. I’m always so afraid of being boring. LOL!

Dear Big Bang Theory

I know that you couldn’t care less what one, lone viewer might think, but I’d like to discuss the last few episodes and why I don’t know if I can watch you anymore.
First of all, let me state that I’m not a rabid fan. You’ll be amused to know that I actually started watching your show because I thought your BLOOPERS videos were hilarious. I was pleased to find that the snappy dialogue was really good and the zingers had depth.
Well, most of them.
In every episode there’s a least two or three lines that are aiming for the lowest common denominator, but for the most part, the interactions are funny.
Until recently.
I was highly frustrated with the direction that Amy and Sheldon’s relationship went, with Sheldon essentially treating Amy so poorly that I was rooting for her to dump him and find some other geek that would actually show her affection. I was angry at the “she’s stupid” comments directed at Penny that seemed endless and the way Howard was depicted in a “laugh at the Beta Male” kind of way.
I almost quit watching after the episode “Work Place Proximity” and tweeted that Amy should dump him. The argument seems to be that Sheldon is a jerk and that’s the way he is-that viewers LiKE him as a jerk. Well, I don’t like him as a jerk. I like him as clueless, arrogant on occasion and socially inept. But lately, his portrayal has degenerated into a petulant, shitty little asshole who refuses to be a real boyfriend, thinks Penny should put up with his crap to be with Leonard, and makes Rajeesh sit on the floor to make a point about a dining room table.
And to turn Amy into the kind of woman who has to lie about being ill and supports Sheldon’s least likable characteristics to keep him as her boyfriend was downright annoying. I was incensed at Sheldon’s behavior when Amy indulges his love of trains and all his phobias to treat him on Valentine’s Day. In my opinion, that kiss was too good for him. Amy is too good for him. Though I’m thrilled for Amy that she finally got some show of affection, I’m still pissed that Sheldon wasn’t on his knees begging forgiveness for being an ass.
Seriously,If I had been Rajeesh, I’d have kept my ass in that dining room chair. I mean, all of them got up because they felt sorry for Sheldon and Amy “all by alone” (why?) and none of them felt sorry for Rajeesh for having to sit on the floor. Again.
You’ve done a good job with Penny, balancing the zingers about her frequent boyfriends and her limited capacity for nerdiness with her big heart and her broken dreams. Why can’t you go to work on Sheldon? Why are you changing Amy into a person I don’t want to like rather than allowing Sheldon to be more human?
I want Sheldon to realize what his life would be like without Amy. I want him to SUFFER when he looks at how he’s treated her and denied her. I want Amy to encounter a nerdy guy who has enough sense to want her sexually. I want Rajeesh to grow up and Howard to grow a set. And I want it to happen over time. You know, character growth.
It was mentioned to me (when I was bitching about this on facebook) that I want this because I write genre fiction. I do understand that you have a franchise that you want to keep going for years and years. I watched this with Seinfeld and, to be honest, I think that show got damn old after the first two years. It was funny, but the same. Every. Week.
Wouldn’t a great story line be to gradually have Sheldon become more human, be in love with Amy, face all the uncertainties we all do about love and THEN meet some genius who was like he was in the beginning? What kind of deeper meaning would Sheldon get from realizing that he ISN’T that robot asshole anymore?
How about Penny? What if she suddenly developed an interest in something that wasn’t alcohol related? Hanging out with geniuses, she might be influenced to become passionate besides something OTHER than Leonard.
It seems, I’m sure, that I’m trying to give depth to a sitcom, but you writers did that yourself. You’ve added the “mommy issues” element and given depth to comedic situations. You’ve done such a great job that when you dip your toes in the shallow end of the pool, I’m disappointed.
If the next few episodes end up being more like “The Table Polarization” and “The Workplace Proximity”, I don’t know that I can keep watching. It may not matter to you at all, but I wish it did.
There’s enough mean in the world. Why indulge it so much?

Thirteen Random Comments

I haven’t been completely random in a while, so….here you go.

1.  The puppy woke me up this morning biting my hair

I have no idea why, but she only does it to me and she did it at 3am.  Ugh.

2.  Somebody did it.  They titled their erotic romance “Sacking The Quarterback

And then I googled it and found out it had been done in 2007 too.  *groans*

3.  Will Wheaton is now one of my heroes because of this post.

4.  John Green has always been one of my heroes and still is because of this video.

5.  How did this song get past me?

6.  I’ve been revising “Brother of Arundale”

7.  Revisions are NOT my favorite thing.

8.  The biggest downfall I have to losing weight is cheese

9.  And Ranch Dressing

10.  I say cheese, but it’s mostly cheddar cheese.

11.  The absolute best purchases I’ve made in the last month has been the product insurance from Radio Shack.  I’ve used it twice.

12.  Product insurance is smart when you own four dogs.

13.  The puppy has decided my living room is her own personal toilet and I’ve started gritting my teeth in my sleep again.

Coincidence?  I think not!

 

Watch This.

A tribute…..

As we face another crisis in our history, another decisive moment, I thought today I wanted to remember a pivotal turning point.
On this day, we saw America show her metal. Every First Responder who faced the monumental task of going into those buildings, especially the second one since the first had already fallen, showed who we are. Despite the obstacles, the challenges, the overwhelming odds against us, we will stand.
We might stand unsteadily, perhaps even wrongfully stubborn in our position, but we will not fall. We are often interfering and professional kibitzers. We are simultaneously peace loving and warriors. We have been beaten, defeated, wounded, and very, very wrong, but we have never laid down and given up.
There may come a day when America will crumble in the face of some unfathomable enemy, but not today. Today, we remember those who rushed in when death was all around them. Today, we remember those who struck back when remaining quiet would have been easier. Today, we remember those who lost, who cried and who searched fruitlessly for the ones they loved.
We remember because this is who we are.

I’m going to say what I think….

….about Mylie Cyrus’s video “We Can’t Stop” which I’m not linking to. If you haven’t seen it, you’re not missing much. If you have then I don’t need to say anything.
First of all, I am not the type to be appalled and shocked by weirdness. After all, I’ve talked about my love of Rhianna, Pink and Britney on this blog many times. So what is it about this one that make me shake my head?
It’s not the shocking visuals. It’s not the “white girl trying to be black” attitude. It’s not the twerking.
There is NOTHING that I saw that showed passion or determination. It’s like Mylie was given the words and she sang them with a flat affect, no investment. The video is her big middle finger to everyone, which, well, sells CDs. I guess. I’m unimpressed. The whole tongue thing seems forced and the unfortunate impression I got was of a drugged out nutcase trying to put a shine on a fucked up lifestyle. Your mileage may vary.
It’s not like it hasn’t been done. Below are two of the big “fuck you”s done a hell of a lot better.

Pink’s “So What” which she made when she and her husband were struggling to find ANYTHING to like about each other.

And Britney’s “Piece of Me” which she made around the time she had a total break down. What most people aren’t aware of is that someone she loved very deeply died of Ovarian cancer. This song is basically a “fuck you” to the people who pushed her.

http://http://youtu.be/u4FF6MpcsRw

In Celebration of My Nervous Breakdown

If you know other authors, you know we lose our minds. Regularly. So, in honor of my complete mental breakdown, I am giving away…..whatever books I can! LOL!
Lately, things have gotten a little too insane for my comfort, but I’m hoping that you’ll all join me in a moment of silence as we look back at the writing life of the nutcase known as Jennifer Leeland….or Jennifer McKenzie depending on who I choose to be on any given day.
Jennifer McKenzie…The Suspense Ridden Nutbag

or Jennifer Leeland…..The OMG-What-Genre-Is-It-Today-Definitely-Dirty nutbag

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is pick one. Now, I’m crazier than a loon so I don’t have a plan on how I’ll choose the winner. It may depend on what kind of smart ass comment you leave me. Maybe. LOL!
Join me in the insanity. Comment until Sunday night and then I’ll award whoever makes me laugh the hardest any book they want in ebook form.

Let the smart assery begin.

Happy Labor Day! And my Birthday present….

Though many people only know the angry Alanis Morissette from “Jagged Little Pill”, she’s grown and changed over the years. I own everything she’s made and love her as much today as I did back in the 90’s.
For my birthday, the Redneck bought me “Havoc and Bright Lights”, her latest. This song, a total departure for her, touches me.

“Til You”

I’ve been wasting time
Clawing my way to you
Taking no prisoners with my romantic crimes
I’ve been holding on imagining glimpses of you
Holding my breath while you come down the pike

Spinning my wheels around
I’m here, dodging bullets til you
Ear to the ground
I’m here, dodging bullets til you

I’ve been taking notes
Nursing the thought of you
Research and deliver ’cause I’m biding my time
I’ve been holding on this magnet that calls to you
Entertaining myself with these consolation prizes

Spinning my wheels around
I’m here, dodging bullets til you
Ear to the ground
I’m here, dodging bullets til you

They’ve become too fond
But mere placeholders for you
They fill the stance card
As you form in my mind

Spinning my wheels around
I’m here, dodging bullets til you
Ear to the ground
I’m here, dodging bullets til you

Til you

Some days……

I miss my Dad. He’s the one who introduced me to books, who encouraged me to read, who gave me a little backbone when it would have been easier to cave in. I lost him in August 2002 and I wasn’t ready.
I miss him a lot today.

Always in a rush
Never stay on the phone long enough
Why am I so self-important?
Said I’d see you soon
But that was, oh, maybe a year ago
Didn’t know time was of the essence

So many questions
But I’m talking to myself
I know that you can’t hear me any more
Not anymore
So much to tell you
And most of all goodbye
But I know that you can’t hear me any more

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

Always talking shit
Took your advice and did the opposite
Just being young and stupid
I haven’t been all that you could’ve hoped for
But if you’d held on a little longer
You’d have had more reasons to be proud
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/words-lyrics-skylar-grey.html ]

So many questions
But I’m talking to myself
I know that you can’t hear me any more
Not anymore
So much to tell you
And most of all goodbye
But I know that you can’t hear me any more

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words

The longer I stand here
The louder the silence
I know that you’re gone but sometimes I swear I hear
Your voice when the wind blows
So I talk to the shadows
Hoping you might be listening ‘cos I want you to know

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said
Never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

Read more: SKYLAR GREY – WORDS LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/words-lyrics-skylar-grey.html#ixzz1vhhTWRbP
Copied from MetroLyrics.com

Nobody Speaks The Truth On The Internet According To Google

Okay. Just a warning. This post will be an honest expose of some of my passing thoughts that I do NOT allow much time in my head, so please don’t worry.
I opened my mail this morning. Past Due bill, bounced check notice (shit, I didn’t think any of them got returned damnit) a pathetic royalty check, and more bills. Now, last week was HELL with everything going wrong that could go wrong. I started smoking a pack a day (after being off cigarettes for three years) and off my diet. My allergies kicked in and the Redneck went from 0 to Dickhead in about ten seconds. Let’s just say that since the first of the year, I’ve been fighting EVERYTHING!!! Including my own brain.
Now, it’s a known fact that my brain is out to kill me. I accept this. I recognize that it entertains thoughts that would worry my family and friends. My music that I listen to is a reflection of this muck and mire that I expunge through my writing.
But I always believed I wasn’t the only one who spiraled into despair at the smallest provocation and had to dig back out. Imagine my shock when I googled “Putting a bullet in my brain is sounding really good right now” and got….nothing. So, we don’t admit this on the internet? We don’t tell the truth? That sometimes it just pops into our brains and we fight to kick it out? Seriously?
And here I thought the internet was the bastion of freedom and honesty. (stop laughing)!
Look, the truth is that a lot of people have “thoughts”. No, I don’t sit there and dwell on it. That would be fucking dangerous for me. But thoughts go by and I make a conscious decision not to throw parties for it. What shocks me is that there’s no other post, no other confession on the internet that pops up when I google it.
I believe that bringing that shit out into the light can take away its power. In my dark, dank mind, it grows and festers. But I know that most people aren’t comfortable, get worried, when I share the thoughts that come and go.
Writing is one form of my therapy out of it. My characters often feel that their death would serve a higher purpose than their life. And I usually prove them wrong. Just like I KNOW that’s not true for me.
But shit, it would be nice to know I’m not the only one who goes there on occasion, who acknowledges that dark part of me and then shines a bright light on it to reveal it as only a passing moment.
The one thing that depression, addiction and loneliness breeds is…you guessed it….depression, addiction and loneliness. I choose to recognize the cycle and take a right turn, go at an obtuse angle, and kick it in the balls. But if I never look at it, or say it, or SEE it, then round and round I go.
So, speak the truth people. I know I’m not the only one out there. Give Google something to work with.