Category Archives: My Music Obsession

Why I don’t listen to Christian Music anymore….

When I graduated from High School in 1986, I was sought a spiritual connection, a way to to know what path I needed to take in my life.  At that time, I was planning on being a choir director, my love of singing and music match only by the arrogant belief that I was damn good.

In that year, First Call came out with “Undivided” and my love of acappella met my love of Christian music.  I devoured their music and followed them, buying every single release.  When Melodie Tunney left the group, I was leery, not sure if the group would continue the beautiful tones and arrangements that I adored.

Enter Marabeth Jordan.

And I fell in love with her tone, her energy and the song “Don’t you worry about a thing” which I’d never heard before.  She was young, she was amazing and the next CD only got better.

It was “Sacred Journey” released in 1993 that I wore out again and again.  Songs that brought me closer to God, that gave me hope.  Songs I still love today.

When it all came crashing down in 1994 with the revelation that Marabeth Jordan was pregnant due to an adulterous affair with Michael English, I watched something absolutely appalling happen that leaves a bad taste in my mouth for the Christian Music community and its ministries.

Marabeth Jordan was vilified.  So was Michael English.  But guess who still has a career in Christian Music?  You got it.  Michael English.  He is forgiven, using his affair and his drug use as a “testimony” basically dragging Marabeth through the mud every time.  Never a fan of English, I was saddened and angered by his ability to shed Marabeth with no thought at all.  Listening to his testimony is painful and frustrating to me since there is little record of Marabeth’s struggle.

It takes a bit of Googling, but information is there that Marabeth suffered a miscarriage of the baby she’d created with Michael English.  There is no record of this devastating period of her life.  She is essentially erased from CCM history with no links for her name and no page for her contributions.

Could Marabeth Jordan come back and make it as an artist?   Probably not.  Women in Christian Music have a tougher row to hoe.  The only person I’ve even seen continue to have a career was  Amy Grant and SHE left her husband for the man she committed adultery with.  The Christian Music community is divided over her especially as evidenced by comments made on any YouTube offering by Grant.

So it’s understandable that Marabeth would want to stay under the radar and no draw attention to herself.  She’s apparently went back to being a back up singer for other artists.  What happened with her marriage and what happened to her relationship with the other members of First Call is not really known.

In my mind, it was a bunch of hypocrisy.  Marabeth was a part of something special and sacred.  There seems to have been no forgiveness in the people who continued to condemn her.  The people who continue to condemn her today.  I don’t know where she is today or what she’s doing, but I hope that she’s recovered from the dark period that took her out of the public eye.  As someone who has been cheated on, I know that forgiveness is a growing, amazing thing.  It saved me from spiraling into hate and keep love alive.  Honestly, I think it’s people who have survived something this horrific who understand the true love of God.

Marabeth Jordan sang many of these songs deep in a struggle that I understand and I have failed too. I found forgiveness for myself and for others. She is, and always will be, part of a very spiritual period in my life, a time that was accompanied by her harmony in First Call.

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Good Goes The Bye by Kelly Clarkson

Sorry I haven’t been here much.  I love this song!

They say Rome wasn’t built in a day
But you and I went and built it anyway
And it only took a second to watch it all fall to dust
I thought you hung up the moon
And you thought I lit up the room
But the lights turned off and it was the end of us

[Chorus]
Slam goes the door
Hush goes the phone
Out goes the flame
And I’m standing here alone
Burn goes the drink
Down go the tears
Drip goes the sink
And I’m missing you like hell
Break goes the heart
Wrong goes the right
Good goes the bye

It’s like we pulled the pin out of a grenade
It just didn’t go off right away
But man did it go off when it finally did
Everything’s suddenly magnified
It’s loud and it’s quiet at the same time
As the echo of it’s all over sets in

[Chorus]
Slam goes the door
Hush goes the phone
Out goes the flame
And I’m standing here alone
Burn goes the drink
Down go the tears
Drip goes the sink
And I’m missing you like hell
Break goes the heart
Wrong goes the right
Good goes the bye

I can’t go back, we can’t be friends
And we can’t be what we were then
You can’t be mine, and I can’t be yours
And it’s not love anymore

[Chorus]
Slam goes the door
Hush goes the phone
Out goes the flame
And I’m standing here alone
Burn goes the drink
Down go the tears
Drip goes the sink
And I’m missing you like hell
Break goes the heart
Wrong goes the right

Goodbye….

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Music for “Bastard of Arundale Hall”

I finally found the theme song for one of the characters in my work in progress. Simon Ormand makes an appearance in both “Witch of Arundale Hall” and “Christmas at Arundale Hall”. He’s one of the main characters in “Bastard of Arundale”. And he’s pissed.

Give me the flammable light
I’m cold as a match, ready to strike
So here I go

Here lies a city on fire
Singing along
The arsonist choir
Now here I go

It’s started with a spark
And burn into the dark
Now here I go

There is a river I’ve found
Into the wild
Under the ground
So here I go

A button on a string
And I heard everything
Now here I go

Oh sweet ignition be my fuse
You have no choice you have to choose
Bid farewell to yesterday
Say goodbye I’m on my way

But in the end we all
Come from what’s come before
So here I go

Oh sweet ignition be my fuse
You have no choice you have to choose
Bid farewell to yesterday
Say goodbye I’m on my way

I threw it all away because
I had to be what never was
Been so hungry I could lie
Took my word, I took your wine

And held you in my bloody hands
These rattled bones and rubber bands
Washed them in the muddy water
Looking for a dime and found a quarter

But you can’t make me change my name
They’ll never make me change my name
Pay no mind now ain’t that’s something
Fuck it all I came from nothing

I’m something from nothing
You are my fuse
I’m something from nothing
You are my fuse

It goes oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
It goes oh, oh, oh
All rise!

No you can’t make me change my name
You’ll never make me change my name
Pay no mind no wait that’s something
Fuck it all I came from nothing

Read more: Foo Fighters – Something From Nothing Lyrics | MetroLyrics

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Happy Veteran’s Day!

Normally, I’d be really serious but to celebrate Veteran’s today, here’s my favorite fun video that makes me love the men and women who serve our country.

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The Final Masquerade by Linkin Park

Tearing me apart
With words you wouldn’t say
Suddenly tomorrow’s
Moment washed away
Cause I don’t have a reason
And you don’t have the time
We both keep on waiting
For something we won’t find

The light on the horizon
Was brighter yesterday
Shadows floating over
Skies begin to fade
You said it was forever
But then it slipped away
Standing at the end of
The final masquerade

All I ever wanted
Secrets that you keep
All you ever wanted
The truth I couldn’t speak
Cause I can’t see forgiveness
And you can’t see the crime
And we both keep on waiting
For what we left behind

The light on the horizon
Was brighter yesterday
Shadows floating over
Skies begin to fade
You said it was forever
But then it slipped away
Standing at the end of
The final masquerade

Final masquerade
Standing at the end of the final masquerade

The light on the horizon
Was brighter yesterday
Shadows floating over
Skies begin to fade
You said it was forever
But then it slipped away
Standing at the end of
The final masquerade
Standing at the end of
The final masquerade
Standing at the end of
The final masquerade

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Disguise by Lene Martin

Have you ever felt some kind
Of emptiness inside?
You will never measure up
To those people you
Must be strong
Can’t show them that you’re weak

Have you ever told someone
Something that’s far from the truth?
Let them know that you’re okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering
Questions they may have

I’m okay, I really am now
Just needed some time to figure things out
Not telling lies, I’ll be honest with you
Still we don’t know what’s yet to come

Have you ever seen your face
In a mirror? There’s a smile
But inside you’re just a mess
You feel far from good
Need to hide
‘Cause they’d never understand

Have you ever had this wish?
Being somewhere else
To let go of your disguise
All your worries too
And from that moment
Then you see things clear

I’m okay, I really am now
Just needed some time to figure things out
Not telling lies, I’ll be honest with you
Still we don’t know what’s yet to come

Are you waiting for the day
When your pain will disappear?
When you know that it’s not true
What they say about you?

You couldn’t care less about the things
Surrounding you, ignoring all the voices from the walls

I’m okay, I really am now
Just needed some time to figure things out
Not telling lies, I’ll be honest with you
Still we don’t know what’s yet to come

I’m okay, I really am now
Just needed some time to figure things out
Not telling lies, I’ll be honest with you
Still we don’t know what’s yet to come

Still we don’t know what’s yet to come
Still we don’t know what’s yet to come

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Thirteen From My Favorites Videos

I don’t favorite a video on YouTube unless I plan to watch it a lot. So here’s a few that I’ve added to the list recently.

1. Tony And Ziva

2. Cameleon

3. Submissive

4. Torn To Pieces by Pop Evil

5. I Believe by Christina Perri

6. Will Wheaton being his usual brilliant self

7. Karuk Brush Dance Song

8. Run To You by Pentatonix

9. The Bullying Experiment

10. Eclipse 6 Santa Rap

11. Xmas Flash Mob Museum of Fine Arts Boston

12. Beautiful Girl by Sara Bareilles

13. Unconditional by Katy Perry

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