Why I don’t listen to Christian Music anymore….

When I graduated from High School in 1986, I was sought a spiritual connection, a way to to know what path I needed to take in my life.  At that time, I was planning on being a choir director, my love of singing and music match only by the arrogant belief that I was damn good.

In that year, First Call came out with “Undivided” and my love of acappella met my love of Christian music.  I devoured their music and followed them, buying every single release.  When Melodie Tunney left the group, I was leery, not sure if the group would continue the beautiful tones and arrangements that I adored.

Enter Marabeth Jordan.

And I fell in love with her tone, her energy and the song “Don’t you worry about a thing” which I’d never heard before.  She was young, she was amazing and the next CD only got better.

It was “Sacred Journey” released in 1993 that I wore out again and again.  Songs that brought me closer to God, that gave me hope.  Songs I still love today.

When it all came crashing down in 1994 with the revelation that Marabeth Jordan was pregnant due to an adulterous affair with Michael English, I watched something absolutely appalling happen that leaves a bad taste in my mouth for the Christian Music community and its ministries.

Marabeth Jordan was vilified.  So was Michael English.  But guess who still has a career in Christian Music?  You got it.  Michael English.  He is forgiven, using his affair and his drug use as a “testimony” basically dragging Marabeth through the mud every time.  Never a fan of English, I was saddened and angered by his ability to shed Marabeth with no thought at all.  Listening to his testimony is painful and frustrating to me since there is little record of Marabeth’s struggle.

It takes a bit of Googling, but information is there that Marabeth suffered a miscarriage of the baby she’d created with Michael English.  There is no record of this devastating period of her life.  She is essentially erased from CCM history with no links for her name and no page for her contributions.

Could Marabeth Jordan come back and make it as an artist?   Probably not.  Women in Christian Music have a tougher row to hoe.  The only person I’ve even seen continue to have a career was  Amy Grant and SHE left her husband for the man she committed adultery with.  The Christian Music community is divided over her especially as evidenced by comments made on any YouTube offering by Grant.

So it’s understandable that Marabeth would want to stay under the radar and no draw attention to herself.  She’s apparently went back to being a back up singer for other artists.  What happened with her marriage and what happened to her relationship with the other members of First Call is not really known.

In my mind, it was a bunch of hypocrisy.  Marabeth was a part of something special and sacred.  There seems to have been no forgiveness in the people who continued to condemn her.  The people who continue to condemn her today.  I don’t know where she is today or what she’s doing, but I hope that she’s recovered from the dark period that took her out of the public eye.  As someone who has been cheated on, I know that forgiveness is a growing, amazing thing.  It saved me from spiraling into hate and keep love alive.  Honestly, I think it’s people who have survived something this horrific who understand the true love of God.

Marabeth Jordan sang many of these songs deep in a struggle that I understand and I have failed too. I found forgiveness for myself and for others. She is, and always will be, part of a very spiritual period in my life, a time that was accompanied by her harmony in First Call.

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13 New Slang Expressions/Words I’ve had to learn lately

With my oldest starting High School this year (how the hell did THAT happen?) I have had to learn a lot of new things to prepare.  Plus, all his friends spend time with me too so…..let me share my knowledge.

All of these will be from the Urban Dictionary

1.  What Are Those

This is what you say/scream when you see someone wearing shoes or other footwear that are dirty and/or non-brand unknown. You should also point your finger in the air then while saying “what are those?!” Make your way down to the person shoes, all while their back is turned.
*boy sees dirty non-branded shoes*

Boy: What Are Those?!

Crowd: *laughs*

2. Deez Nuts
Just F’ing with someone
eh, yo, what’s the ellos/ellas form of Sacar?

Umm….Sacan??

Sacan deez nuts!!!!!

ADDED:  From this video. Yeah.  Pretty silly.
3.  On Fleek
the quality of being perfect, or on point i.e. Zayn Malik
Zayn is on fleek due to his ability to appear perfect at all times.
ADDED: From this video
4.  Crunk
In 1995, Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter were scheming ways to get past the TV censors on Conan’s late night talk show, and they settled on an all-purpose, suitable replacement for the infamous seven dirty swearwords that they couldn’t say on TV: Crunk. The choice to use that word was definitely not random. Ice T just happened to be on the show that night, and he likely fed the word to them beforehand and certainly helped fuel its popularity during the telecast (“That was seriously crunked up, right there.”). But Ice never claimed to have come up with the word–he probably got it from Dirty South rappers, who had been using it for years as a euphemism for getting really crazy and fucked up on marijuana and alcohol (stoned and drunk. Chronic plus Drunk = Crunk). Or maybe crack and drunk. Or coke and drunk. Or maybe just being crazy and drunk. Whatever it is, it means getting really crazy and fucked up. And with Conan’s introduction of the word to northern suburban audiences, Crunk came into its own as the recognized sound of the new generation of Dirty South Rap, prompting white college fratboys everywhere to wander around going “WHHHUT!! OKAAY!! YEEEAAHHH!!” like annoying dipshits. and it’s all thanks to Lil Jon, and by Lil Jon I mean Dave Chappelle.
5.  Bae
Bæ/bae is a Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the internet who think it means baby, sweetie etc.
Bae I love u so much

Brian, my bae

I just made a bæ

6.  Turnt Up
– thee act of getting drunk and high to thee highest degree
– getting loose {whether that be just being wild or engaging in sexual activity}
shanay got supper turnt up at thee party last night.
7.  Basic
There’s a couple of different definitions for this one.
Urban Dictionary:
An adjective used to describe any person, place, activity involving obscenely obvious behavior, dress, action.

Unsophisticated.

Transparent motives.

Pat was trying to fuck that drunk girl – so basic.

Shelby was showing off her tits for attention – fucking basic.

But I’ve also heard this one.
“Basic”
Definition: A word used to describe a girl who is only interested in things mainstream, popular, and trending. Typically used to describe your personality as boring, bland or uninteresting. Also used to describe ubiquitous pieces of clothing at the Gap, which is a shockingly accurate analogy.
Used in a sentence: “There is nothing special about her at all—she’s supes basic.”

8.  Thirsty
1. Too eager to get something (especially play)
2. Desperate
(Boy running up) “Ay gurl whasup? Look, you lookin real nice, can I get that young number?”

(Girl under breath) “Thirsty”

9.  Squad
Crew, posse, gang: an informal group of individuals with a common identity and a sense of solidarity. The term is a bit flashy and is more likely to be heard in hip-hop lyrics than in spoken conversation.
You step to me, and my whole squad will come down on you.
10.  Step To Me
When one individual behaves in a manner which could be perceived as threatening to another individual, either physically or emotionally so.

See also: Up in my business

“She got up in my face, and I said “Bitch, did you just step to me? You did NOT just step to me!”
11.  Yaaas
to Agree with or give props
When your friend looks good

“yaaaas bitch yaaaaas”
when your friend says stevie j the king of rats you reply “yaaaaaaas”

Friend 1: that bitch ugly as fuck two teas bitch cuz that aint none of my business

Friend 2: yaaaaaas

12.  AF
The acronym stands for ‘as fuck.’
That dinner was good AF.
13.  Dat Ass Doe
That ass though.

A woman can be an idiot, or have an ugly face, but if she has a nice ass it makes you want to say “dat ass doe”
The same is true of her legs, “Dem legs doe!” “Them legs though”

“Dat hoe has got an ugly face, but dat ass doe”

Friend 1: “that girl is stupid.”
Friend 2: “but dat ass doe.”
Friend 1: “true.”

You. Are. Welcome.

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So…you’ve heard of these Right? 13 Viners I actually watch.

Okay.  So if you’re like me, you may not know what a “Vine” is until the explosion of weird phrases and sayings make it’s way out in general conversation (usually of teenagers).  I have since discovered “Viners” and I’m watching a bunch of them.  Here’s a few I like to watch.

1.  The Eh Bee family

I watch this for me.  LOL!!!!

2.  Brandon Calvillo

3.  Manon Mathews

4.  Matt Cutshall

5 Arielle Vandenburg

6.  Lizzzzza

7,  Allicattt

8.  The Mighty Duck 

I like his mom.  He’s kind of a PIA.

9.  Thomas Sanders

I love love love these.

10.  The Gabbie Show

11.  Aaron Doh

He yells a lot, but he’s funny!!!

12. Dope Island

This one I’m never sure if I’m going to laugh…or think. It certainly gets a response.

13.  Alex Ramos

More screaming.  Sometimes VERY annoying but…yeah….I laugh.

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13 Reasons Summer is NOT my time of year

1.  I find the sun is too damn bright.

It burns us

2.  I get sunburned easily

I was born to darkness

3.  Heat + Hot Flashes = MISERY

Hot flash

4.  Never enough ice

Don't care how I want it now

5.  Kids are home aaaaaalll day

6.  And they make dishes

7.  And they don’t wash them

measuring-cup-wine

8.  It’s busy at work

9.  For some reason all my deadlines seem to fall in the three months of summer

Deadlines

10.  Allergies

pollen death star

11.  Even if I liked sunny days (which I really don’t) I’m stuck in the office

office_space_06_Full_xlarge

12.  Everyone thinks I’m crazy because I don’t love summer.

Ibegyourpardonareyouill-giftumblr

13.  Did I mention the hot flashes?

Hot flash 2

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A funeral today…

Mike 2Mike

My father-in-law’s funeral is today.  He was an awesome man who saw the best in everyone.  I’m going to miss him terribly.

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I’m baaack Mother Fucker!!!!!

Did you miss me?

So……

Princess bride lemme splain

On the marriage front:  The Redneck and I are doing well.  We’ve had some interesting shit go down which included getting fired by our Marriage counselor, weird signs and portents that would take forever to explain and a busy ass summer.

On the writing front:  I’ve been mired in a struggle with a book called Master Charming which was supposed to be light and frothy.  I’m not sure if I pull it off, but it’s going to Loose-Id at the end of the month to see if they want to take it.

Other projects have been tough to get through due to my fucked up circumstances.

I’ve gotten a tattoo, gone full on back into Al-Anon meetings, made some changes that I hope will make a difference, and discovered that I don’t hate my job.

Now, I have returned in all my fucked up glory.  I don’t know what this blog will look like.  I know that I did some writing over on FetLife that was a good outlet for me.  Like journaling.

Meanwhile, it’s good to be back.  It may take a while to get started, but we’ll get it going.

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“Mastered 2” is out TODAY!!!

Mastered-2 3D Jen_Tangled_ARe

Welcome to another edition of BDSM awesomeness!!!!!  Some of the best authors in the business have teamed up again to offer some fantastic stories of Domination, submission and kink.

BUY IT HERE!!!

Didn’t catch the first installment about Tasha, Noah and Ty?

“Bondage on 34th Street” is available as a single title HERE!

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