An Update….

Since many of you have probably read my general announcement regarding my marriage.  At the time, I truly believed that there was no way the relationship could survive.  I had tried when he told me about the affair to keep him from leaving the marriage, willing to work on our issues, but he said he couldn’t stay.

The Redneck was gone for three months.  In that time, I worked my Al-Anon program harder than I ever have in my life.  I prayed for the knowledge of my Higher Power’s will for me, believing that whatever the outcome, I would be okay.  I survived.  I breathed.

I took care of myself and stepped into the light.

I forgave him.  I forgave her.  I accepted that this was how it was and I was going to be okay in it.  I found peace.  Long stretches of peace.  I took care of things that had been neglected and loved my kids through it.

Little did I know that the affair was a period of insanity and obsession that the Redneck would eventually find nightmarish and horrific.  I had no idea, being as deceived about the woman he left me for as he was, that she would become the death knell to his sanity.

And I had no idea that in the midst of his misery, he would come to me because I was the only person he could talk to.  Not to complain or to get sympathy, but out of a desperate need to voice his crazy.  I wasn’t exactly receptive.  LOL!

I did, however, recognize a human being in pain.  I listened, but gave no advice.  When he expressed that he regretted his actions, I was surprised.  When he finally was on the brink of true insanity, I suggested he get out of the situation, not for my own sake, but because I began to worry about him.  I really thought I was going to be taking him to the local mental health ward.

That’s how bad it got.

The result of all this is that he is going to A.A., stepping away from the darkness and says he wants to remain married.

I am…cautiously optimistic.

I still love him.  How that is possible, I don’t know.  But I do.  I will see how it turns out.

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Good Goes The Bye by Kelly Clarkson

Sorry I haven’t been here much.  I love this song!

They say Rome wasn’t built in a day
But you and I went and built it anyway
And it only took a second to watch it all fall to dust
I thought you hung up the moon
And you thought I lit up the room
But the lights turned off and it was the end of us

[Chorus]
Slam goes the door
Hush goes the phone
Out goes the flame
And I’m standing here alone
Burn goes the drink
Down go the tears
Drip goes the sink
And I’m missing you like hell
Break goes the heart
Wrong goes the right
Good goes the bye

It’s like we pulled the pin out of a grenade
It just didn’t go off right away
But man did it go off when it finally did
Everything’s suddenly magnified
It’s loud and it’s quiet at the same time
As the echo of it’s all over sets in

[Chorus]
Slam goes the door
Hush goes the phone
Out goes the flame
And I’m standing here alone
Burn goes the drink
Down go the tears
Drip goes the sink
And I’m missing you like hell
Break goes the heart
Wrong goes the right
Good goes the bye

I can’t go back, we can’t be friends
And we can’t be what we were then
You can’t be mine, and I can’t be yours
And it’s not love anymore

[Chorus]
Slam goes the door
Hush goes the phone
Out goes the flame
And I’m standing here alone
Burn goes the drink
Down go the tears
Drip goes the sink
And I’m missing you like hell
Break goes the heart
Wrong goes the right

Goodbye….

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DAY ONE of the BDSM PALOOZA

Dark Beauty - Sexy Woman in Lingerie lying on Black Couch Today begins the BDSM Palooza at The Smutketeers!

There’s a $100 Amazon Gift Card up for grabs and lots of prizes from 50 authors who write some of the best BDSM romance and Erotica.  Go and comment!!!!

I’ll be taking my turn in the barrel on February 19 (Thursday) so go check it out!!

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Thirteen Things I’m Looking Forward To

1.  I’m going to my first ever Munch tonight.

2.  Eel River Soroptomist Tea on February 29

3.  Finishing my short story with Emily Ryan Davis

4.  Finishing “Bastard of Arundale Hall”

5.  The BDSM Palooza (My day is February 19)

6.  Lois W.’s Birthday party March 7

7.  My trip to San Francisco on March 13.

8.  Seeing Eden Bradley again (I haven’t seen her since 2008

9.  Getting my tattoo

10.  Going to the local SF munch

11.  Going to The Citidal

12.  The Release of “Mastered 2″

13.  The day that Karma finally catches up and takes care of some people.  LOL!

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Cover Reveal “Bastard of Arundale Hall” by Jennifer Leeland

BastardOfArundaleHall-web-med Thank you to P and N Graphics for this AWESOME cover for “Bastard of Arundale Hall” .

Here’s a blurb:

“A war has begun between two opposing supernatural powers with the Arundale men caught in the middle. To win against his enemy, Lord Marcus Everrett has been forced to return to his childhood home and face the woman he refused to marry years earlier. He had thought their passion had died in the face of his mating another and the rejection of his past. But the moment they are together again, it’s clear the heat between them still burns. Yet, it will take another man to stoke the fire.
Simon Ormond only wants revenge for the death of his lover. To find passion with a witch and an Arundale wolf who will give him retribution is fortunate. Once he gets a taste of what could be, he must choose between his resignation for death and an unusual, complicated mating.
The lonely years that Mariann Perrin had spent after Marcus left her had left her hungry for the love denied her. But she has a task to do, given to her by the power she inherited. Now, just as she meets the two men who can fill her empty heart, dark forces move to destroy them. With one man welcoming death and the other still angry about the past, Mariann must find a way to lead them both to love or they may face their enemy and fail.”

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Thirteen Random Things About Me….

I’m baaaaack!  Didja miss me?  LOL!

1.  I hate taking Selfiies

Every time I have to do it, I feel horrible about myself.  LOL!  This was my latest one.

IMG_20150127_133540623

2.  I was a Music Major in college

My dream was to be a choir director, but I got distracted and my grades plummeted.

3.  I worked for 8 years as a CNA

Home Care and then in a hospital.  I went on Maternity leave and never went back.

4.  I love rain

It’s my favorite weather.  I don’t like the sun much.  LOL!

5.  I don’t like wearing makeup

I do it because I have to for work, but I don’t like it.

6.  I’m not a crazed fan

I have tons of authors, music and actors that I love but I don’t find out every scrap of detail about stuff.  I wouldn’t have any time for anything else.  LOL!

7.  I was once a singer in a band….

Not a very good one.  But I did do it.

8.  I can’t resist chips and dip

It’s my downfall.  I try and use salsa instead of a sour cream based dip, but sometimes I GOTTA HAVE IT!  LOL!!

9.  The first book I submitted for publication was a romantic suspense

I like mystery with my romance.

10.  I live in a small town.

about twelve thousand people.

11.  I reread Dorothy L. Sayer’s “Gaudy Night” every year.

I love that book.

12.  My favorite author is Joey W. Hill.

13.  I have rented the Bourne series a million times.  

I should just buy them.

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A Great Review for “Temptation To Submit”

JL_TemptationToSubmit_coverin BDSM Book Reviews has a review of “Temptation To Submit” up by FoxyLoxy.

You can read it HERE.

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