If I Was “That” Kind Of Girl (Thursday Thirteen)…

….thirteen people I would put out a hit on. (But I’m not. I write. So maybe it should be “Thirteen People I Would Murder In My Stories)
I offer you a quote from Maggie in “Addicted to Love” referencing her ex. “It’s not like I want him to die or anything, but then again, people die every day. Why should he be any different?”
1. PG&E Policy Makers
These brilliant people (and I use the term loosely since I’m not positive they’re human) have determined that the best way to get someone to pay their bill is to charge them an insane amount MORE on top of their bill. We’re not talking a “service charge” of five or ten bucks to sort of smack a customer upside the head. We’re talking four hundred dollars more which is twice as much as my current charges. A deposit. Welcome to tough times, folks, where those who can screw those who are already screwed right into the wall. I can’t even tell them to go pound sand since they’re the only game in town. So, yes, if I had mob connections, I would spend my four hundred dollars in another way.
2. Peter Pan
If you read my blog, you know this is one of the Redneck’s coworkers who has a deadly combination of ego and smooze. I dislike him intensely and would not feel bad in the least if he disappeared suddenly and no one knew where he was. In fact, he’s the kind that would keep cement in business.
3. That Woman In Cub Scouts
I’m being nice here. She has a different name most of the time, but I thought I’d spare you the more hostile name. Needless to say, she’s difficult, anal and very, very “mean girl”. She’s starting to grow on me more these days, but that might just be because I can’t REALLY take a hit out on people. I’m totally writing her into a book though.
4. Certain Members Of Wall Street
Truly there are some people who REALLY need to be targeted. You know. The ones who are making a killing on other people’s misery. The ones who are talking Federal money and vacationing in the Caribbean. THOSE people. I need a list.
5. Credit Card Companies
Who are jacking up rates for no apparent reason other than they can. The ones who get customers to sign up for them and then dick them into bankruptcy. Oh wait! That’s ALL of them.
6. Banks
Even my own, who isn’t too bad, but who, in tough times, chooses to RAISE the amount for bounced checks. I don’t know about you, but I have overdraft protection because I SUCK at money. But what I didn’t count on was for the fees to go from a modest $12 (five years ago) to $33 now. More than doubled. Thanks so much. What exactly IS the point of this? It’s not like I do it on purpose! Damn it.
7. The Con Men
Anyone who has committed fraud. I mean the guy who cheated disability because it’s that jerk that made it difficult to get disability. Or that woman who cheated welfare, because she guaranteed the department would make those of us who might REALLY NEED IT have to jump through hoops. Or the tax evaders who have created a nightmare for those of us who are totally honest about our taxes. You’re the reason the “help” that’s there ISN’T THERE. It would be worth it to get rid of a few of you.
8. Book Pirates
I don’t say much about this because, well, there’s not a damn thing I can do. But when someone offers my books free for download, I see that as one more slap in the face in my struggle for success. It’s hard enough to get those readers who will follow a writer through thick and thin. But when pirates just paste it up there for anyone to get for free, it’s tough not to get frustrated. Hell, I know “free” is better. And the argument is that someone who would download it free wouldn’t buy it. Probably true. Still, if I had “The Box” that would guarantee….Okay, never mind. I wouldn’t. LOL.
9. Bullies
Long list here from those assholes in the Republic of Congo who brutalize their own people for diamonds to that rotten kid at Demolition boy’s school who punches him and denies it. (Why the teachers believe him, I don’t know, but there’s hot place in Hell for the constant bully who picks on kids smaller/younger than him.) I don’t like bullies.
10. Whoever Dictates DMV policy
Here’s another place a person gets screwed. In California, if you don’t pay your renewal (license or registration) fees within the first 30 days, it’s DOUBLED. After that, every month adds a higher percentage. Yep. Because if you can’t pay the ORIGINAL amount on time, adding MORE onto the total will get it paid faster. *rolls eyes*
11. My Mailman
He’s a jerk. ‘Nuff said. And another one of those people I can’t bash because he’ll mess with my mail. (Which he did btw).
12. The IRS
Another bureaucracy that has gotten WAY out of hand. Perhaps a few well placed “accidents”??? No? *sigh* I’m probably going to end up on some FBI watch list for these. But MAN, there’s a lot of frustrating things out there right now.
13. Telemarketers
Especially the one for the Times Standard who thought calling at 9pm was acceptable. I don’t like telemarketers. At all. But really they’re just trying to make a living. So maybe I mean the CEOs that run their companies and USE telemarketers. I just know they irritate me and I want them to go away.

Aren’t you glad I’m just a helpless citizen just like everyone else? LOL.

A Hops In Humboldt Just Sayin

To Hops In Humboldt
1. Presale tickets? MY ASS!!! Right. So, I plan on going to an all you can drink beer fest and decide to buy my tickets in advance. Only, ya’ll only printed a thousand presale tickets so when I took my happy little ass down to buy two (on for me and one for Sandi) I was told you were all sold out. Here’s a clue. How about “Limited number. Buy early”. That way, some of us won’t be sitting outside the Fortuna Chamber of commerce waiting for someone to get back from lunch to tell me I wasted my time. That’s about a thousand words I could have been writing.
2. The lines? Too many opportunities for being “chatted up”.
I’m married. I came to get plowed, not laid. Our favorite line? “That’s a really big camera you got there.” Sandi’s response. “Yes, and it extends for your pleasure”. Yep. Sandi is a TOTAL MILF. So, you need more vendors….more beer….fewer lines.

3. The porta potty nightmare
I’m a girl. I expect to be grossed out by nasty old porta potties. But these? Even the hardcore, drunk GUYS were grossed out. And running out of toilet paper? Totally unacceptable. Especially when you consider how much beer was being consumed. The good thing is that you had a TON of them. They were nastier than shit, but you had a ton of them.
4. The beerThere was some AWESOME beer there. Just not enough. There was raspberry beer we never got to try because it was gone. They ran out of some of the best beer pretty quickly. But Del Reka, Michelle’s old boss, had the best beer I had all day. The Great White and the Eye of the Hawk were my favorites followed by a Dandelion Beer. (Dechutes Brewery I think). I was impressed.
5. Overall? Nicely done. No fights. No drama. Very relaxed. The first two raggae bands were so so and the alternative band was forgettable, but you got The Moonshine Bandits who rocked the park. I got a signed CD by them AND the drummer gave ME the sticks! SWEEET.
The beer flowed well and everyone was pretty damn polite considering how drunk we all were. I’d definitely go again, and I’m no fan of big crowds. Nice job.
Just Sayin’
*Edited to add* I almost forgot about the sign on my forehead that said “Cut through HERE”. I swear I’d stand in line and a STREAM of drunk people would walk in front of me. After a few beers, the obligatory “excuse me” went out the window too.
Also, the crab puffs? OMG! So good.
Hey Sandi, do you think anyone was listening to some of our “conversations”? *ahem* You remember, right?
And the walk from Sandi’s house? I don’t know how far it is, but I’m sure it was snowing and uphill. Just sayin’! (LOL)

To My Mailman
Would “Fuck you” be harsh? More than likely. Okay. So, you give me a notice that my mailbox “isn’t securely attached to the base” (It’s one of four boxes on a two by four). This same notice says it’s the second one. (It isn’t). It ALSO says I have until September 9th to fix the box or you’ll hold my mail. Can you explain why you held my mail THE NEXT DAY??????? Listen, you bureaucratic asshole, I am taxed within an inch of my sorry ass life, I have recession roots and recession nails because looking nice goes out the window when money is tight. My husband works his ass off and we barely manage to hang in there. You want to hard ass US? How about your wonderful post office figures out how to mail a fucking letter from Fortuna to ANYWHERE that doesn’t take nine fucking days? That’s it, asshole. You get NO Christmas cookies. The guys who pick up my garbage? They’re getting a goddamn bucket. You? Not even a card.
Just sayin’
To You Know Who
I have to say, after you managed to get a job based on the fact that the Redneck actually spoke on your behalf and you paid him back by saying my husband couldn’t “do the job” to anyone who would listen? I am THRILLED that your ass is going out the door. I can’t believe you’ve informed everyone you won’t “work on the road” like you’re somehow better than the rest of the world. Heads up, dumb ass. Times are tough. Your wife and kids? They are going to want to eat. And if you’ve got to go on the road, you can suck it up and go. I have NO sympathy for you. In my opinion, you got the job that should have gone to the better crane operator–the Redneck. But it will be interesting to see what you manage to pull off in the next few days. Yeah, I know it’s bad that I’m enjoying it a little, but I’m sure you’ll land on your feet…and tell everyone this is EXACTLY what was best. Needless to say, however, I want nothing to do with your sorry, backstabbing, ass.
Just Sayin’
To Monday
It looks like we’re having Monday on Tuesday this week. Be gentle.
Just Sayin’

To Sandi
I had a BLAST!!!!!! Now, the next trip. Good Relations in Eureka. A little informative tour…..
Just Sayin’