Sudden Changes and a General Announcement

I’ve been the Redneck Romance writer since the very beginning of my career.  Married to a Redneck with two Okiee kids and four dogs, I identified myself as wife and mother and writer, usually in that order.

On New Year’s Eve, that all changed.

The Redneck informed me that he’d been having an affair since October with one of my friends and he is leaving me to pursue a relationship with her.  This has begun a painful and slow process that I’m sure you can imagine has an effect on everything I believed I knew about myself and about my family.

Two things have been profoundly changed by this.  I am pretty sure at this point that my relationship with The Redneck is over and I don’t believe it can be salvaged.  I’m willing to admit I could be wrong about this, but the way things are going, I don’t see this damage being repaired enough to include a continuation of any relationship except “ex-husband”.  Which makes me very sad.  Of course, he’s had a couple of months to adjust to the idea that he doesn’t want our marriage.  I haven’t.  It will take time.

The second change is in Boy Scouts.  I have been a diligent and active participant in the Boy Scouts with the Redneck.  Since the woman he is seeing is a Scout mom and since they intend to continue to do Boy Scouts together, I am withdrawing from the organization as quickly as possible.  This was a painful realization as well and while it hurts to be replaced, I am determined that my two boys get whatever they need.  Train Boy had plans to start his Eagle project this summer and I sincerely hope this nightmare doesn’t destroy his chance for that.

I’m not going to catalog the blow by blow as this situation progresses.  I will tell you that I’ve never experienced this level of betrayal and I’m not sure how this will shake out in the long run.

I love romance and I’m not going to give up writing.  I will have to determine what I can and can’t do throughout this ugliness, but I think my writing will still be a priority.  All this to say that I am going to survive this though life will look a lot different than it has.

I’ve been married for almost fifteen years and this is not what I wanted, but sometimes the Universe moves things toward better opportunities despite my resistance.  Though I wasn’t the perfect wife by any means, I don’t believe infidelity was justified and the pain is excruciating.  But if I know nothing else, I know this:  Pain transforms and all growth requires some pain.  That’s the way it is.  I am going to grow, learn lessons and become someone even better from all this.

It might look awkward and I may stumble around a bit, but I will be okay.  Music is always my way to deal with stuff.  Today, this is where I am.  The sadness will pass and happier days will come.  But not today.

Now the deed is done
And the smoke has cleared
From the ashes some
Glimmer of the truth appears
And its a bitter pill
A little hard to take
Ill be the first to claim
My share of mistakes
But the way things stood
I did the best I could
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I
Try to make amends
To be a friend
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I
Now the windows closed
Opportunitys fled
All that’s left to do now
Is look back and shake our heads
And it breaks my heart
And it makes me mad
And Ill never know why
So good went so bad
But the way things stood
I did the best I could
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I
Try to make amends
To be a friend
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I
Mabye times the only way to find
Someway back from this
But the way things stood
I did the best I could
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I
Try to make amends
To be a friend
Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I 

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15 Comments

Filed under Life Stuff

15 responses to “Sudden Changes and a General Announcement

  1. Sue

    I love you, sweetheart. You will rise above this because you’re one of the strongest people I know. The shovel is in my trunk. Just set the bat signal and I’m there.

  2. I don’t know what words could soothe that kind of hurt, but I’ll try to come up with some anyway. 😦

  3. Ditto to everything Sue said, Jenn. ~hugs~

  4. I just want to say that this is one of the most impressive things I have ever read. I’m so sorry that you are going through this trial, and I’m sure there will be setbacks in your future, but I see strength and determination here and am confident you will get to where you need to be.

  5. belindamcbride

    Oh, I am so sorry this is happening to you. You will be strong enough and move forward. Its tough now, but life will again be wonderful, I promise.

  6. Jen

    Thanks guys. I am so so lucky that I have friends that will support and love me through this. I’m not alone at all and that has made all the difference in how I’ve managed to face this so far. I’ve had slips but I have made an effort to take care of myself and still be Mom to my kids.

  7. Oh honey, just saw this. Hugs to you, and if you ever wanna come hang out with me in Enid, you just let me know, K? We can swill too much wine 🙂

  8. Well, crap. I,m sorry you have to deal with this. But what KB said. And all the best to your boys, I don’t doubt Train Boy will make Eagle. *hugs*

  9. Hugs to you hon! YOu’re in my thoughts!

  10. w0rdtrix

    {{{{{{Jennifer}}}}} So sorry to read this news, and sorry I did not see it sooner. 😦

  11. Oh Jiminey Christmas, I am so sorry to read this. I went through this with my first husband, so I understand completely. Hang in there, my friend.

  12. Robin L. Rotham

    Oh Jen, I just saw this, and nothing I can say seems adequate. Sending you ALL the hugs!

  13. Pingback: An Update…. | Redneck Romance Writer

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