Thirteen Translations for the Author Impaired

After last week’s boring post for my TT, I dragged Melissa Blue and T.Sue Versteeg into my crazy and created a conversation for you all. Call this an educational post. Or not. Or whatever. LOL!

1. Melissa Blue: Oh, yes. The book is going fine. Translation: if we were in another dimension the book would be written already And awesome. Unfortunately we’re in this one.

2. Melissa Blue: My characters refuse to tell me the truth. Translation: because my characters are lying sacks of shit, I’ve got 20k to rewrite.

3.T. Sue Versteeg: Edits are nearly done. Translation: as soon as I dislodge my laptop from the wall, I’ll see if it still works.

4. Melissa Blue: I’m working on the WIP as we speak. Translation: The word doc is open but so is Spider Soltaire. Guess which screen is minimized…

5. T. Sue Versteeg: I wrote 3k in the middle of the night! Translation: I’ve got about 50 useable words after I cut the nonsense.

6. Melissa Blue: Edits are nearly done. Translation: Once I finish color coding my undies. Cause ya know these things are vitally important.

7. Jennifer Leeland: I get up at 4am to write. Translation: I spend an hour and a half on Facebook, Twitter and Romance Divas checking for new online kerfuffles then stare at my computer screen for 30 minutes before my kids get up.

8. Jennifer Leeland: I’ve stalled on that book. Translation: I had bad reviews on the books in the series, wrote a first draft that sucked so hard it was a wall banger and I just couldn’t write that last stupid sex scene….Besides something else was prettier and shinier

9. Jennifer Leeland: I don’t think this is my genre. Translation: It’s too fucking hard to finish the damn thing. LOL!

10. Jennifer Leeland: I got an idea from a glittery werewolf but I think maybe that trope is played out. Translation: I don’t want everyone to think I’m copying fucking Twilight but that asshole character won’t leave me alone.

11. Jennifer Leeland: I need to talk to an author friend to clarify my book. Translation: I’m avoiding that piece of shit as long as I can!

12. Melissa Blue: I got my crits back and the just needs a little tweak. Translation: My heroine is dumber than a sock of nickels in which the critque person wanted to beat her with.

Jennifer Leeland: Or alterate #12 I got my crits back and it just needs a little tweak. Translation: My hero is a total asshole who needs to be shot several times.

13. Melissa Blue: This is the shittiest book I’ve written. Translation: This is the shittiest book I’ve written. I should be beaten with the same sock of nickels as the heroine.

BONUS TRACKS:
14. Melissa Blue: I’m putting together a book soundtrack. Translation: I needed a somewhat valid excuse for spending 10 hours on Youtube watching that damn baby giggling video. Oh, and the remix for Hide yo kids, hide yo wives…

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13 Comments

Filed under Thursday Thirteen

13 responses to “Thirteen Translations for the Author Impaired

  1. What terrifies me is that all of these sound like me, right now, as I’m supposed to be writing a synopsis. Not surfing the ‘net.

    But synopsis writing is harrrrrrd… *pout*

    Happy TT to you! 🙂

  2. Hahaha! You and Melissa did all the heavy lifting. I just tossed in a few because it was so much fun. I need to hang out with y’all more often!

  3. And yet I constantly run into people who think it’ll be easy to write a book. You’d think the fact they haven’t done it yet might be a clue.

  4. It’s easy to find something else to do besides writing.

  5. Hmm…having trouble with the writing, Jennifer? *g*
    My T13: Recently viewed

  6. OMG, #4 is my life. Only it’s Angry Birds, and about 6 pages in Firefox of various blogs, news sites, plus FB and Romance Divas. I’m so stuck.

  7. Ah, yes. I was dragged and blackmailed into this. Don’t pay attention to the fact I had bonus material.

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