Heeeeeere’s Joshua

Early on, Joshua drove me crazy. (See here.) He was a complete JERK and drove me to tear my hair out. But he was an interesting character with good motivation….if he’d tell me what the hell was going on.
Lord Joshua Arundale had a safe, happy childhood until his parents were killed when he was only twelve. Too young to claim his rights, he ended up under the patronage of Lady North. His security and his confidence is dented, but he remains determined to take his title and his land which gives him a safe haven in the midst of Lady North’s hatred. He tries to protect Perry, but struggles with his own demons as his transformation dominates his teenage years.
Joshua tends to tell his story from a fantasy point of view where his defects are glossed over but his control is emphasized. I struggled to show what REALLY happened between Joshua and Elizabeth, noting that he wanted to hide from his vulnerability, his fear and his pain. What he hid from me for months is what finally made him human.
All of Joshua’s life had been about secrets. To reveal himself was to risk everything and not just for himself. He believed that his only option was to say nothing, show nothing and he came across to me as a cold, manipulative bastard. Until he allowed me and consequently Elizabeth into his heart, he was doomed to be alone and miserable.
Leaving Elizabeth for ten years, he truly believed he was saving her from certain death at his own hands. Of course, he didn’t understand his curse or himself when he left and the experiences he had when he went to Jamaica only added to his shame and guilt.
It’s these feelings that keep him separated from his family and cut off from those who loved him. Only when he realizes that his family, his future and his mate is threatened does he come home to face those he left. He faces huge hurdles. That childhood love he had with Elizabeth has grown, but there are years of pain and anguish between them. His brother has faced the curse alone and taken an entirely different road to deal with it. His cousin, Melinda, has plotted and schemed to obtain the title and land that belongs to him. And someone, a mysterious killer that shows all the signs of being cursed as he is, has murdered a man leaving the entire countryside mired in chaos.
He comes home, but whether or not Elizabeth will entirely forgive him is definitely in question.
Of course, this is one of my romances, so there’s no doubt that he WILL be forgiven, but the road to obtaining it is long and arduous.
Joshua tried to lie his way through this story, covering up his doubts and fears under cover of arrogance. My first draft was sent back by my crit partner with the words “You’d better de-asshole him.”
Digging deeper into his soul wasn’t comfortable. He isn’t a restful person. Darkness lives beneath the surface, as it does for all the Arundale men.
In his case, however, the darkness is banished by his mate, Elizabeth. He is brave, honorable and determined, factors that, in the end, wins him Elizabeth’s heart. It is when he realizes that her love is what’s important, not control or his honor or his feelings, that he grows into a man who is lovable.

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4 Comments

Filed under Conversations With My Characters

4 responses to “Heeeeeere’s Joshua

  1. I love him and just the story is wow..

  2. De-asshole him? Who would say such a thing? Even when he was a asshole of the highest order he was compelling. But what really made this book for me was Elizabeth. She had such heart and strength I wanted her to have an HEA. And Josh was it. No question. One more day!!!!!! And just so you know I will be laughing evilly. Mwahahahahaha!

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