Thirteen Conversations I’ve Had With My Characters Lately.

1. With Shasta Pasquel
Shasta: Look, it’s not my fault I’d like to do them both.
MeYou can “like” all you want. This book is NOT supposed to be a menage. And where’s the spanky spanky that is usually in the story?
ShastaYou let me have a sex scene with Tylan and I’ll tie him up.
2. With Andev Juno
Me:It would have been nice to have a heads up about your previous relationship with Tylan.
Andev I didn’t think it was a big deal.
Me:*screeching* Seriously? So you drop the bomb on me in the middle of the story and hoped it would all work out?
Andev*shrugs* You’re the author.
3. To Tylan
Me: I’m not sure after the book is finished and revisions are happening is really the time for a personality makeover.
Tylan:But Shasta said you wanted some spanky spanky.
Me: What does that have to do with it?
Tylan: *blushing* I was always Andev’s sub. Didn’t he tell you?
*last of my hair falls out*
4. To Shasta
Me:We really need to discuss the scene where you see the future.
Shasta:Can’t we just leave it vague? It wasn’t that big a deal.
Me:*pounds head on desk* Readers aren’t going to want vague. They’re going to want a little more details about how you can see it and what you see.
Shasta:*waves her hand* Oh, you worry too much.
5. To Andev
Andev: So, what’s my motivation for wanting my best friend and my mate to get it on?
Me:Tylan is your sub. It turns you on that Shasta will claim him too.
Andev: But isn’t she my sub?
Me:Yeah, so?
Andev:Well, just so long as I’m in charge.’
Me:*muttering* Anytime you want to take over, jerkwad….
6. Shasta
Shasta: Jen!
Me:I’m working.
Shasta:*louder* Jen! It’s important.
Me:Seriously! I’m at the EDJ! I can’t talk now.
Shasta:No REALLY. It’s an important plot point. Blah blah blah (*talks incessantly but nothing is heard since the EDJ has to take priority*)
7. Andia
Andia: You’re supposed to be working on my book now.
Me: I am. It’s just “COMMANDED TO DREAM” needs to get out to a crit partner.
Andia: You like them better than me because I’m a fem domme.
Me:That’s ridiculous. I’ve been stoked about writing your story for over a month.
Andia:Liar. I’m going to be a pain in your ass and you know it.
Me: *sigh* Yes, I know it.
8. Zevon
Zevon: You know, you have Christoph and me confused. I’m the switch and Christoph is the sub.
Me: We can work all that out when I start the book.
Zevon:Don’t fuck me up.
Me:*raises eyebrows* What’s the matter, Big Boy, don’t like being on your knees?
Zevon:*Scowls* That’s not funny.
Me:*rubs hands together* Yes, it is. You’re going to like being on your knees.
9. Christoph
Me: So, what makes you a sub?
Christoph:*crickets*
Me:Christoph?
Zevon:*chuckles evilly* Maybe he can’t hear you.
Me:*glares at Zevon* He’ll hear me when I write him out of the story.
ChristophWhat? I was busy worshiping Andia.
Me:*rolls eyes*
10. To Andia, Zevon and Christoph
Me:What do you mean you’re saving details for later? I really need to know why Zevon and Christoph are considered guilty of treason and how I’m gong to prove they’re not.
Andia:We figure it’s a need to know basis.
Me:*screeching* I’m the AUTHOR!!!! I need to know!
Andia*shrugs* We’ll let you know by the end of the book.
Me: If I hadn’t promised to have this book done by August 1st…..
11. Andia and Shasta
Shasta: The new scenes are great, but I want to have more sex.
Me:*writing furiously* I’m only adding about 5K, Shasta. More sex would make it too long.
Shasta: You just like that stupid Fem Domme better.
Andia:I don’t see how you can say that. She’s ignoring me.
Shasta:She’s not letting me have sex.
Andia: Quit whining. You spend most of your book having sex. I have to do all that complicated psychological shit.
Shasta:*snorts* Good luck with that with her as your author. She doesn’t know manipulation from masturbation.
Andia:She’s the best I got.
Me:Will you two shut the hell up? I’ve only got my lunch hour to write.
Shasta:Man, she’s been a grumpy butt.
Andia:You said it.
12. Tylan and Andev
Tylan:*reading over author’s shoulder* Shouldn’t Shasta and I have a sex scene here?
Me:No.
Tylan:She’s gonna be pissed.
Me:I don’t care.
Andev:Dude, what are you bitching about? She’s going to put in another dream sequence. How fucked up is it that I’m doing my mate in a dream?
Tylan:Can’t be any worse than what happens to me.
Andev:*snirks* That’s the price you pay for having a sequel happy author.
Tylan:*whines* Mrs. Giggles is going to call me predictable and boring. I just know it.
Andev:We’ll be in good company then. She called Terek that too. Don’t worry. The reviewers blame the author, not us.
13.Christoph
Me: Okay, so what’s your motivation here?
Christoph:*crickets*
Me:Christoph?
Christophe:*crickets*
Zevon:What did you think would happen when you finally gave him his ideal Mistress?
Me:I thought he’d be grateful.
Zevon:You sure you’ve written books before?

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11 Comments

Filed under Conversations With My Characters, Thursday Thirteen, Writing

11 responses to “Thirteen Conversations I’ve Had With My Characters Lately.

  1. Some interesting and funny coversations…..

  2. LOL Pretty feisty characters. Hmmm what does that say about the author?
    Happy T13!

  3. “You sure you’ve written books before?”

    ROFL… Loved this, great T13 this week!

  4. LOL! Too funny! I guess I have conversations with mine, too, though maybe not that in depth!

    *hugs*
    Paige

    My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/

  5. You have to love characters!

  6. too funny! I love hearing authors wrangle their characters…or try to.

  7. Okay, that was hilarious!

  8. You really made me laugh. Thank you!

  9. April Morelock

    OMG… this is freakin’ hilarious! You made my day.

    Oh, and I want Andev!!!! The rest of that madhouse you can keep ;>

    (You know… all of these character are an invention of YOUR imagination. Doesn’t that scare you just a tiny bit?) You know… just saying.

  10. Hey, I love your characters. Ship them down here…

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