1. With Shasta Pasquel
Shasta: Look, it’s not my fault I’d like to do them both.
MeYou can “like” all you want. This book is NOT supposed to be a menage. And where’s the spanky spanky that is usually in the story?
ShastaYou let me have a sex scene with Tylan and I’ll tie him up.
2. With Andev Juno
Me:It would have been nice to have a heads up about your previous relationship with Tylan.
Andev I didn’t think it was a big deal.
Me:*screeching* Seriously? So you drop the bomb on me in the middle of the story and hoped it would all work out?
Andev*shrugs* You’re the author.
3. To Tylan
Me: I’m not sure after the book is finished and revisions are happening is really the time for a personality makeover.
Tylan:But Shasta said you wanted some spanky spanky.
Me: What does that have to do with it?
Tylan: *blushing* I was always Andev’s sub. Didn’t he tell you?
*last of my hair falls out*
4. To Shasta
Me:We really need to discuss the scene where you see the future.
Shasta:Can’t we just leave it vague? It wasn’t that big a deal.
Me:*pounds head on desk* Readers aren’t going to want vague. They’re going to want a little more details about how you can see it and what you see.
Shasta:*waves her hand* Oh, you worry too much.
5. To Andev
Andev: So, what’s my motivation for wanting my best friend and my mate to get it on?
Me:Tylan is your sub. It turns you on that Shasta will claim him too.
Andev: But isn’t she my sub?
Andev:Well, just so long as I’m in charge.’
Me:*muttering* Anytime you want to take over, jerkwad….
Shasta:*louder* Jen! It’s important.
Me:Seriously! I’m at the EDJ! I can’t talk now.
Shasta:No REALLY. It’s an important plot point. Blah blah blah (*talks incessantly but nothing is heard since the EDJ has to take priority*)
Andia: You’re supposed to be working on my book now.
Me: I am. It’s just “COMMANDED TO DREAM” needs to get out to a crit partner.
Andia: You like them better than me because I’m a fem domme.
Me:That’s ridiculous. I’ve been stoked about writing your story for over a month.
Andia:Liar. I’m going to be a pain in your ass and you know it.
Me: *sigh* Yes, I know it.
Zevon: You know, you have Christoph and me confused. I’m the switch and Christoph is the sub.
Me: We can work all that out when I start the book.
Zevon:Don’t fuck me up.
Me:*raises eyebrows* What’s the matter, Big Boy, don’t like being on your knees?
Zevon:*Scowls* That’s not funny.
Me:*rubs hands together* Yes, it is. You’re going to like being on your knees.
Me: So, what makes you a sub?
Zevon:*chuckles evilly* Maybe he can’t hear you.
Me:*glares at Zevon* He’ll hear me when I write him out of the story.
ChristophWhat? I was busy worshiping Andia.
10. To Andia, Zevon and Christoph
Me:What do you mean you’re saving details for later? I really need to know why Zevon and Christoph are considered guilty of treason and how I’m gong to prove they’re not.
Andia:We figure it’s a need to know basis.
Me:*screeching* I’m the AUTHOR!!!! I need to know!
Andia*shrugs* We’ll let you know by the end of the book.
Me: If I hadn’t promised to have this book done by August 1st…..
11. Andia and Shasta
Shasta: The new scenes are great, but I want to have more sex.
Me:*writing furiously* I’m only adding about 5K, Shasta. More sex would make it too long.
Shasta: You just like that stupid Fem Domme better.
Andia:I don’t see how you can say that. She’s ignoring me.
Shasta:She’s not letting me have sex.
Andia: Quit whining. You spend most of your book having sex. I have to do all that complicated psychological shit.
Shasta:*snorts* Good luck with that with her as your author. She doesn’t know manipulation from masturbation.
Andia:She’s the best I got.
Me:Will you two shut the hell up? I’ve only got my lunch hour to write.
Shasta:Man, she’s been a grumpy butt.
Andia:You said it.
12. Tylan and Andev
Tylan:*reading over author’s shoulder* Shouldn’t Shasta and I have a sex scene here?
Tylan:She’s gonna be pissed.
Me:I don’t care.
Andev:Dude, what are you bitching about? She’s going to put in another dream sequence. How fucked up is it that I’m doing my mate in a dream?
Tylan:Can’t be any worse than what happens to me.
Andev:*snirks* That’s the price you pay for having a sequel happy author.
Tylan:*whines* Mrs. Giggles is going to call me predictable and boring. I just know it.
Andev:We’ll be in good company then. She called Terek that too. Don’t worry. The reviewers blame the author, not us.
Me: Okay, so what’s your motivation here?
Zevon:What did you think would happen when you finally gave him his ideal Mistress?
Me:I thought he’d be grateful.
Zevon:You sure you’ve written books before?
1. With Shasta Pasquel