Maybe I Just Like Lost Causes

You know, I seem to live my life working on “projects”. Now, I’ll say that my life is much better when those projects are activities or “things” rather than “people”. In the old days, when forty was old and whiskey was “too hard to drink”, I used to have people I “worked on”. I was being helpful, benevolent. Aren’t you glad you didn’t know me then?
Eventually, (as always happens when a person is arrogant enough to think another human being is a project) I found that the only person who needed a renovation was me and set about ripping up my floors, digging out the dry rot and fixing the damn pipes. I think my structure is good, but I’m a little cluttered and tend to sag at the foundation.
I went nuttier than a fruitcake, volunteering in the non-profit org that spearheaded my personal makeover and generally making a damn nuisance of myself. I drove myself (and everyone else around me) up the wall, finding that if I couldn’t make other PEOPLE a project……
You see where this is going.
To no one’s surprise (except mine) I got my feeling hurt, burned myself out and walked away. I had a couple of kids, discovered that “old” was a relative term and had a full twelve course meal of my own words every single day that I raised my children.
Yep. Life was good.
But I like having projects. When my kids started Cub Scouts, I sat on my hands. No way were they going to get me. I learned my lesson. Groups were made up of those things called “people” and I wasn’t volunteering to take over any project that didn’t involve characters I made up in my head.
Four years later, I’m the pack committee chair, one of the driving forces behind the latest push to get our boys on their feet. The Redneck is the Cub Master. We’re so mired in the whole “Scouting” thing that it’s sad and pathetic.
I have a project.
But, like all my other projects, it involves people, their drama, their opinions, their STUPIDITY and MY STUPIDITY.
Let me give you an example of how I drive myself nuts. On Tuesday night, we had a pack meeting. I’d been planning this for MONTHS. I knew what I wanted to do, what I wanted to happen. I had an activity, a written plan, an AWESOME plan.
Man plans and God laughs.
The activity didn’t happen. Wax didn’t melt. The reasons don’t matter. It didn’t happen.
The kids were CRAZY. I mean like Spaz Want To Kill Them crazy.
It just didn’t seem to go very well to me.
I had expectations.
An expectation is a premeditated resentment.(“The Courage To Change”)
Add to this that The Powers That Be seem less than thrilled with us and my committee seems less than thrilled with me and the parents are staring at me like I’m some performing gorilla that has somehow disappointed them…….I’m a in a funk.
Tomorrow, I have a Pancake Breakfast to benefit our Relay For Life team SCOUTING FOR THE CURE. I just don’t know if I can have the perky factor needed.
I might just go postal and start flinging pancakes across the room.
No. I won’t.
But it’s fun to think about. Especially of anyone connected to the Powers That Be comes in to inspect the fundraising we’re doing.
Ya’ll, send me good thoughts. Think of me tomorrow flipping pancakes.



Filed under Scouting, Whatever category

7 responses to “Maybe I Just Like Lost Causes

  1. I hope all goes well tomorrow. But if you can’t fling pancakes across the room, you can always write and have a character do that for you. 😉

  2. Jen

    There you go RJ!!!! I think I’ll have to do that.

  3. Strangely enough, I too used to believe I could make a difference with People Projects. Perhaps it’s a side effect of youthful idealism.

    I’m 46 now. Nuff said!

    Good luck with the pancakes – if you end up flinging them, at least you might get written up in the papers…

  4. Dulcey

    The Powers that Be will be damned impressed with you by the time I am through. Actually, since I (secretly and truly) *am* the PTB, I assure you, I am quite fond of you. *HUGS*

  5. April Morelock

    Okay… didn’t hear — did you fling any pancakes?

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