Sorry for the Unexpected Break…

…but I had to go to my mom’s.
And it had to involve drama. After all, drama seems to follow me these days.
Monday, the Redneck took the boys (including NMK) fishing to Ruth Lake. Apparently, Demolition Boy spent all day dreading the trip to my mom’s. Dreading it. Like he said, “Can’t I go to the trailer with you, Dad? I’ll play my DS and be good until you get home!”.
He and my mom had issues the last time we were there. You see, my mother has this idea that her job is to “mold” my children. I wish she’d just enjoy them, be grandma, and leave the “molding” to me and the Redneck. The thing is, my mother has always been a disciplinarian with very strict ideas of how people should be and act. When what she thinks they should be and what they are conflict, she comes across a judgmental and “instructs” people.
It’s caused issues for her and I feel bad for her. It isn’t easy since most people won’t tell her why they avoid her. What she doesn’t realize is that people don’t because she’s seventy-four. But she’s sensitive enough to know when she’s not included. Mom has never had the ability to let the group go on without her. She’s a joiner and needs to belong.
The thing is that Demolition Boy is too much like me. Way too much. Though Mom loves me, I’m well aware that I’m a disappointment, that she doesn’t like the choices I’ve made. She wants to, but she can’t. Years ago, I realized I couldn’t do anything to please her, to win her approval. It was better to do my own thing and stop trying.
Demolition Boy figured it out quicker than I did.
Anyway, the trip was pretty damn uncomfortable. Mom was understandably upset that Demolition Boy didn’t want to come to Grandma’s house. Long conversations later, I think she might understand. Maybe.
I hate being in the middle.
So, more drama. Can’t I just write?

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1 Comment

Filed under Being Philisophical, Life Stuff

One response to “Sorry for the Unexpected Break…

  1. Just catching up. *phew* I’m all worn out, just reading about it. Still applauding you, Jen, for every moment you’ve spent helping out NMK.

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