A Sad Day….

Back in 1997, the Redneck was newly divorced, fishing was going belly up and he had just declared bankruptcy. Life wasn’t looking too good. He’d lost his golden retriever, Liberty, the year before and didn’t want another pet. Miserable, lonely and on a bad roll, the Redneck was sliding into a dark bitterness.
Then, his landlord gave him a puppy.
A runt, cute, and completely loyal, Rowdy was a Blue Healer/Collie mix. He was smart and completely besotted with the Redneck. When the Redneck would go fishing, Rowdy would know when four days (a typical trip) was up and start waiting for him at the end of the road. He was the Redneck’s lifeline, the one good thing that happened in a series of shit.
By the time I met the Redneck in 1999, Rowdy was touted as the Redneck’s “child”. He was fussed over by my MIL and slept on the Redneck’s bed. And that dog didn’t like me very much. After all, I took him away on dates, on long drives, and worst of all? I took HIS place in the Redneck’s bed.
When the Redneck and I married, I was sure that dog was going to hate me forever. But my husband went on the road and that dog only had me for company. We coped.
It wasn’t until I got pregnant that Rowdy really accepted me. I think he realized that he held a special, necessary place for us and nothing was going to change that. When we brought Train Boy home, that dog became the most doting nursemaid I could ever want. He loved my boys, playing gently, sweetly with those rough and tumble okie boys.
We deliberately bred him with Cindy, my BIL’s Blue Healer, and had puppies. Roscoe was the one dog we kept (and he LOVES Demolition Boy with all his stupid dog heart). About two years ago, after the puppies were born, we watched Rowdy fail.
He wasn’t interested in much. We took him to Shanty Creek this summer and saw a bit of the old Rowdy we knew, but since then, he’s been pretty listless. I knew we were coming to the end.
Friday, he completely let go. He can’t get up. When we try and pick him up, it hurts him. He’s just…dying.
So, today, we’re calling the vet to put him down. He’s been a best friend, a loyal dog, a loving pet and there’s no way we will allow him to suffer just because we don’t want to lose him.
Up until 1am, I thought I’d be taking him myself. I was always sure I’d be the one to be there as he died, but the Redneck just couldn’t do it. The idea of going to work knowing when he came home Rowdy would be gone just broke him. So, he stayed home today.
Is it bad that I feel relieved?
I don’t want to do this, but the alternative is awful. I think one of the reasons I don’t like pets is because losing them is so hard. And I’ve lost a few.
I’m not sure how it’s going to go. I mean, I know it’s not a big deal, but Train Boy is devastated, the Redneck is broken hearted and I’m the mom. It’s my job to make it all okay.
And I can’t.
I’m going to miss Rowdy.

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11 Comments

Filed under Life Stuff

11 responses to “A Sad Day….

  1. i wish i had words…
    xoxoxoxoxo

  2. As soon as I started reading this post, I started crying. A very, very sad, sad day.

    ((hugs)) to all of you.

  3. Jen

    Well, we’re off to put an end to his misery at 3:15. He is such an awesome dog. I’ll miss him terribly.

  4. Eric Kirk

    Sorry to hear about that Jen. He has had a good life.

    Our 15 year old dog is also now terminal due to progressive kidney failure. He could go quickly, or go several months. Right now he’s still enjoying life, but he lost 11 pounds over the summer. We’re preparing the kids, and we’ll probably join you in grief before the year is out.

  5. (((((hugs))))) – steve

  6. Oh, love. I’m so sorry for your loss. He had a good life, and he knew he was well loved. My heart breaks for you and your family.

    xoxo

  7. Jen

    Thanks Steve and VBC. We’re hanging in there, but it’s still been really difficult.

  8. Shawna

    Oh, Jen. I’m sorry.

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