To Hops In Humboldt
1. Presale tickets? MY ASS!!! Right. So, I plan on going to an all you can drink beer fest and decide to buy my tickets in advance. Only, ya’ll only printed a thousand presale tickets so when I took my happy little ass down to buy two (on for me and one for Sandi) I was told you were all sold out. Here’s a clue. How about “Limited number. Buy early”. That way, some of us won’t be sitting outside the Fortuna Chamber of commerce waiting for someone to get back from lunch to tell me I wasted my time. That’s about a thousand words I could have been writing.
2. The lines? Too many opportunities for being “chatted up”.
I’m married. I came to get plowed, not laid. Our favorite line? “That’s a really big camera you got there.” Sandi’s response. “Yes, and it extends for your pleasure”. Yep. Sandi is a TOTAL MILF. So, you need more vendors….more beer….fewer lines.
3. The porta potty nightmare
I’m a girl. I expect to be grossed out by nasty old porta potties. But these? Even the hardcore, drunk GUYS were grossed out. And running out of toilet paper? Totally unacceptable. Especially when you consider how much beer was being consumed. The good thing is that you had a TON of them. They were nastier than shit, but you had a ton of them.
4. The beerThere was some AWESOME beer there. Just not enough. There was raspberry beer we never got to try because it was gone. They ran out of some of the best beer pretty quickly. But Del Reka, Michelle’s old boss, had the best beer I had all day. The Great White and the Eye of the Hawk were my favorites followed by a Dandelion Beer. (Dechutes Brewery I think). I was impressed.
5. Overall? Nicely done. No fights. No drama. Very relaxed. The first two raggae bands were so so and the alternative band was forgettable, but you got The Moonshine Bandits who rocked the park. I got a signed CD by them AND the drummer gave ME the sticks! SWEEET.
The beer flowed well and everyone was pretty damn polite considering how drunk we all were. I’d definitely go again, and I’m no fan of big crowds. Nice job.
*Edited to add* I almost forgot about the sign on my forehead that said “Cut through HERE”. I swear I’d stand in line and a STREAM of drunk people would walk in front of me. After a few beers, the obligatory “excuse me” went out the window too.
Also, the crab puffs? OMG! So good.
Hey Sandi, do you think anyone was listening to some of our “conversations”? *ahem* You remember, right?
And the walk from Sandi’s house? I don’t know how far it is, but I’m sure it was snowing and uphill. Just sayin’! (LOL)
To My Mailman
Would “Fuck you” be harsh? More than likely. Okay. So, you give me a notice that my mailbox “isn’t securely attached to the base” (It’s one of four boxes on a two by four). This same notice says it’s the second one. (It isn’t). It ALSO says I have until September 9th to fix the box or you’ll hold my mail. Can you explain why you held my mail THE NEXT DAY??????? Listen, you bureaucratic asshole, I am taxed within an inch of my sorry ass life, I have recession roots and recession nails because looking nice goes out the window when money is tight. My husband works his ass off and we barely manage to hang in there. You want to hard ass US? How about your wonderful post office figures out how to mail a fucking letter from Fortuna to ANYWHERE that doesn’t take nine fucking days? That’s it, asshole. You get NO Christmas cookies. The guys who pick up my garbage? They’re getting a goddamn bucket. You? Not even a card.
To You Know Who
I have to say, after you managed to get a job based on the fact that the Redneck actually spoke on your behalf and you paid him back by saying my husband couldn’t “do the job” to anyone who would listen? I am THRILLED that your ass is going out the door. I can’t believe you’ve informed everyone you won’t “work on the road” like you’re somehow better than the rest of the world. Heads up, dumb ass. Times are tough. Your wife and kids? They are going to want to eat. And if you’ve got to go on the road, you can suck it up and go. I have NO sympathy for you. In my opinion, you got the job that should have gone to the better crane operator–the Redneck. But it will be interesting to see what you manage to pull off in the next few days. Yeah, I know it’s bad that I’m enjoying it a little, but I’m sure you’ll land on your feet…and tell everyone this is EXACTLY what was best. Needless to say, however, I want nothing to do with your sorry, backstabbing, ass.
It looks like we’re having Monday on Tuesday this week. Be gentle.
I had a BLAST!!!!!! Now, the next trip. Good Relations in Eureka. A little informative tour…..