Changes in the Air

Being a writer is a lot about rolling with the punches and enjoying the rare moments of success. There’s those moments when a book flows, words spill onto the page and aren’t horrifically badly written. There’s those times your name comes up on a best seller list. There’s the moment you get that contract you’ve hoped for. The business of writing is work and pleasure combined.
Then there’s the moments the characters clam up and won’t talk. There’s the rejections. There’s the day your book slides off the best seller list (often much sooner than you hoped). It’s all Yin and Yang, give and take, Rain and Sunshine, Winter and Summer, Feast or Famine.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
It took a few books for me to discover things I needed to know. My voice, my style, my preference, my heat level and all those things were all learned “on the job” so to speak. Though I love writing suspense, I wrote more action oriented stories. I wrote the Command series and enjoyed it immensely. Plus, people loved the stories.
The characters who speak to me aren’t your average folks. Weird people talk to me. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because they interest me and I listen. Maybe other writers would have ignored a shy woman who needed to wear a mask and have anonymous sex. Maybe other writers would have walked away from a man who’d been injected with alien DNA since he was twelve years old. Perhaps other writers wouldn’t have female dominants in their heads. Me? I can’t get away from them.
The people in my head, they’re tortured, abnormal and fascinating to me.
Lately, I’ve been haunted by a woman who needs…a lot. She’s dying. Oh, and she can’t feel touch. Genetically flawed, she has some nerve issues that prevent her from experience human touch. How messed up would that make you? Well Risha is WAY messed up. She’s literally dying without human contact. There’s no way to “reassure” herself, comfort herself. Imagine. All the things we do to take care of our contact needs are denied to her. Human beings find multiple ways to provide self touch, hugging ourselves in times of stress, twirling our hair, cupping our face. How many times a day do you run your fingers through your hair? Or some other self touch that somehow provides comfort to you?
Risha doesn’t have that. She can’t feel it. All her life, she’s never felt the tender drag of her mothers fingers across her cheek, or her father’s hand tousling her hair, or a friend’s pat on the back. She’s damaged in more ways than physical. She’s been a medical experiment, a guinea pig, an oddity.
Having her in my head hasn’t been all that pleasant. I find I avoid her, as do most of the other people in her life. Perhaps it’s because people who are dying aren’t easy to be around because they remind me of my imminent mortality.
And of course, I’m not sure if the cure might be worse than the sickness.
Though much has changed–I’m writing a lot of Science Fiction now and getting deeper into my character’s head–one thing hasn’t. The characters who talk to me are still strange and unique.



Filed under Whatever category, Writing

8 responses to “Changes in the Air

  1. Hi 🙂
    Thanks for sharing such an interesting blog post.
    Sounds like a great character and intriguing story.
    Love and best wishes,

  2. Ayla

    how does she walk? or eat? or do anything? Damn that’s a hard character! It would be like having a numb hand or leg only not being able to feel that you’ve put your leg on the floor or your hand on the side.


    • Jen

      I KNOW! She can feel pressure and vibrations, but her nerves don’t work correctly. Some sensations she still has, but most touch doesn’t work. She doesn’t feel burns or bruises and such. Pain doesn’t work. She’s very complicated.

  3. I love your “different” people, and their unique stories. And I’m glad you’ve been able to find your voice!

  4. Jen, your imagination is amazing. Here’s hoping you can get her story out. She sounds fascinating. (And my MS works that way sometimes … it’s interesting sensations that flow through me.)

  5. I wonder why those strange people have taken up residence inside of YOU. (Okay, I don’t really wonder. We all know the answer to that!)

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