Post Mom Stress Syndrome. (PMSS)

To The Dirt Faced Okie Boys
I want to make a promise. I will try my very best not to judge you once you become an adult. I will try my very best to love you and your children just the way you are even if I don’t agree with you. I promise that if I suddenly become religious (or find some other obsession) I will not jam it down your throat. This applies to diets as well. I will try not to make my house uncomfortable with a million rules and white carpet. I promise that if I do renovate our house, it will not be in some antique Italian Corian bullshit that makes everyone tiptoe around the house, terrified they’ll ruin something. I promise I won’t follow behind you, bitching about your messes (or your kid’s messes) and ultimately portraying myself as a judgmental ass. I will try my very hardest to be a comfortable, loving person even if I’m bat shit crazy. I will try my damnedest to be someone you would love to see not someone you feel obligated to see.
Just Sayin’

To the Millionaire’s Wife
I don’t know how you do it. You live there, take on the guilt inducing phone calls much more often than I do. No wonder you find it all frustrating.
Just Sayin

To my Printer
You SUCK! What is it about you that makes it impossible to print out contracts with the watermark? After fighting with you over and over, my publisher finally had send them to me. Not embarrassing at all. *rolls eyes*.
Just Sayin’

Mel the Greatest
Thank you. You saved my ass last week and I owe you big time. Not to mention your Christmas novella is BRILLIANT!!!!! *mwah*.
Just Sayin’

To my ancestors
I apologize for the boxes you’re things are stored in. I’m sorry that they probably won’t see the light of day for a long time. I really hope you understand. I didn’t really want all this crap, but my mother really wants your things to be preserved as if carrying your genetic material isn’t enough. As a result, I have tons of Bridge table clothes, breakable little teacups and other things I can’t bring out without risking a huge mess. Please understand, I’m not one of those “ladies who lunch” so I’m not absolutely sure what I’m going to use your cloth napkins for. I’ve got your genes. And now I have your itty bitty salt shakers. *sigh*.
Just Sayin’



Filed under Just Sayin

7 responses to “Post Mom Stress Syndrome. (PMSS)

  1. verybadcat

    itty bitty salt shakers and cloth napkins = outta my league. šŸ˜‰

  2. Jen

    Mine too, VBC. Mine too.

  3. Shawna

    Oh, I collect little tea cups and espresso cups. Of course they are currently in boxes until I can be assured young children will not decide to drink Kool-aid out of them… hey, it happened.

    Bridge table clothes? You had to wear special clothes to play Bridge or am I dense?

    I hate spending more time saying, ‘don’t touch that’, or ‘you can’t put that there’ than visiting or talking or whatever. I’m not saying limits aren’t good, but kids have to be able to play somewhere.

    Of course I’m the woman who, when asked to take off my shoes upon entering someone’s house, has to bite my tongue from replying that I don’t want to walk around a strange house barefoot. Supply slippers, please.

    • Jen

      Well, walking around my house barefoot is unwise. I need a sign that says that. “Go barefoot at your own risk”. LOL.
      And I just realized why you didn’t get the table cloth thing. I spelled it wrong. LOL. Table CLOTHS!!!

  4. I only get over here once a week, Jen, but I just LOVE your Monday posts. And my MIL is doing the same thing with her stuff. Tell me … what exactly am I going to do with the silver tea set complete with serving tray? Hmmm? Really, she needed to do this to me? I feel your pain.

  5. Kym

    My dear, hold out your little pinky when you carry the boxes to the attic. (Remember though there is going to be a child or a grandchild who will go bat shit crazy over the old stuff that belonged to great great grandma–I know, I’m one.)

  6. Sounds like a perfectly lovely trip! LMAO – just makes you glad to be home and wonder how on earth you turned out so NORMAL right? šŸ™‚

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