Thirteen Ways You Know You’re A Mom

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Sandi, over at Cheaper Than Therapy did her own list of how you know you’re a mom. I’m doing one. I’ll steal a few from her and make the alllllll my own.

1. You say “No, you can’t stick that up your butt,”
and don’t even think twice.
2. You also say “I don’t care if you’re ‘backed up’. That won’t help. Eat some oatmeal.
and don’t think twice about that either.
3. You really are the answer machine
and you have to know stupid stuff like why boogers dry out, why poop is brown and what makes the dog lick himself.
4. You know every episode of Spongebob
and quote it for every day life. (“Don’t say anything, Squidward. Remember you’re Karma,” “That guy didn’t know an Oboe from his elbow. Heh heh band humor.” “The machinations of my mind are an enigma”)
5. You often sleep with a child rather than your husband
since there’s monsters everywhere you know.
6. You enjoy “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium” more than the kids do.
Because you are NOT a “just” guy.
7. You forget to buy batteries
just so you don’t have to change them. They’re a PAIN.
8. You’ve seen “Finding Nemo” WAY too many times.
Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.
9. You have a whole different attitude toward Legos
Especially when you’re barefoot.
10. You’ve used curse words….from Spongebob.
Barnacles. Dirty Barnacles.
11. You’ve gone back into a fast food restaurant to exchange an item
when they give your boys a girl toy. Oh. My. God. The DRAMA!
12. You catch yourself telling your HUSBAND “Say ‘thank you'”
13. You’ve been known to hide particularly annoying toys
And do NOT feel the least bit guilty.

BONUS You not only can’t relate to Martha Stewart…
You kind of wish she’d stayed in jail. I think “Men In Black” is right. She’s an alien.

Can you think of some of yours?

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19 Comments

Filed under Thursday Thirteen

19 responses to “Thirteen Ways You Know You’re A Mom

  1. I’m so with you on the Martha Stewart thing, you have no idea…

    Great list, btw! I’m going to be hearing variations on this theme in the coming years – thanks to my niece, that is… 😉

    Ciao!
    Happy TT!

  2. Kym

    You know you’re a mom when—When you quit buying Cosmo even though it has a piece entitled “30 New Ways to Drive your Man Crazy” and, instead, buy Family Circle because it promises to “Teach your Toddler to Eat Peas and Other Vegetables.”

  3. LOL I can so relate. My kids are past the SpongeBob stage though, now I get to ‘police’ FaceBook pages and the like lol
    Happy T13!

  4. You mean you forgot to buy batteries on purpose! Oh, if my kids found out I do stuff like that I’d never hear the end of it.

  5. Jen

    Yeah, when you start singing the theme song to “Total Drama Island” you know it’s bad, Ms. Menozzi.
    OMG! Kym! That’s so true. Try getting erotic romance books in the mail!
    I’m not looking forward to the “MySpace/Facebook” policing. *shudders*
    I’m sneaky. My kids haven’t figured out I do it on purpose.

  6. Jen, I am so cracking up right now! You wrote my life up! C-dub had a total meltdown the other day because he got some sort of little doll instead of a monster truck in his happy meal. He was seriously pissed. We didn’t discover it until we got home so he was outta luck. Great job on your list :-).

  7. Give me a month, and I’ll be right there with you. The adoption is speeding along as planned. The kids come home with us forever on 2/14/09.

    But I totally used spit to get pizza off the 7 year old’s face Monday.

  8. Jen

    What is that all about Sandi? I swear Burger King and McDonald’s get together in Fortuna and plot how to “gaslight” all the moms here. It’s just wrong.
    And Lia, I’m so thrilled for you. Mommy spit is the strongest substance known to man, you know.

  9. LOL! Too funny! Especially like number twelve!

    *hugs*
    Paige

    My TT is at http://tinyurl.com/4zejcp

  10. Somebody should make a list to know if you’re a dad or a grandpa.

  11. O! M! G! I laughed so hard I peed (just a little!) The toy in the Happy Meal meltdown … classic! Let’s see … you know you’re the mom of young adults when you put condoms in their Christmas stocking and they complain because they’re not the right ones. Sheesh. Hubby and I laughed for days over that one … kids? Didn’t bat an eye.

  12. Jen

    Yeah, Paige, The Redneck really likes that one too….NOT. LOL.
    Um, absolutely Gramps, SOMEBODY should. *wink wink nod nod say no more say no more*
    OMG Nina!!! That’s HILARIOUS!!!!!!

  13. Janice Seagraves

    I can totally relate, but my daughter is seventeen and we didn’t have cable so no Spong Bob, thank God.

    I finally gave my daughter premission for myspace, so now I have to take a look at it, *sigh*.

    Happy TT.

    Janice~

  14. OMG, I laughed heaps reading your TT and the comments. I think I’ve missed out, but I’ve had the Happy Meal Drama from the other end when I used to work at McDonald’s in the office. I used to receive the irate phone calls from the Moms who had arrived home and had to deal with their kids. They had no compunction about passing the kid’s pissiness on to me!!!

    Nina – that condom thing cracked me up. Only a kid!

  15. ROFL!! Oh boy, do I hear ya! There’s nothing like motherhood is there? *HUGS*

  16. melsmag

    ROFL too funny! 🙂

  17. HAH. I relate to *way* too many of those.

  18. I couldn’t get posts to go thorugh yesterday, so am playing catchup today. Great list, and I agree — Martha Stewart is definitely an alien! *grin*

  19. ROFL!! My kids aren’t into Spongebob, so I go around quoting things like Backyardigans, Kim Possible and the like.

    Everything is Boinga.

    The thing about the happy meal toys, my son actually liked the barbie it came with. Huh, go figure. 😉

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