A Writer’s Funk Just Sayin’

coffeeTo Mumbai, India
You have our sympathies. It must be difficult to restrain your initial reaction to the death and destruction in your city. Especially since the horror has been connected to Pakistan, your enemy of long standing. I hope that tensions in the region will not increase. When you realize that your own people were not targeted, that these extremists sought Jews and Westeners, perhaps it will help. I doubt it. This kind of ugliness is a wound that heals but leaves a scar. I hope the families left behind find comfort.
Just Sayin’

To My Mojo
Dayna says you’re drinking margaritas in Tahiti. If you are, get your ass back here. I don’t want to stare at my work in progress with a blank expression anymore.
Just sayin’

To The Dirt Faced Okie Kids
When Daddy leaves at 3am, you do NOT get to wake up and start rattling off random shit. First of all, there’s not enough coffee in the world to make that okay. Second of all, YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL!. Go to sleep, damn it!!
Just Sayin’

To Michelle
I miss you so much. How the HELL am I supposed to do Christmas Cookie Weekend alone? Damnit.
Just sayin’

I know it wasn’t easy. Your oldest child married a smut writer and your youngest child married a conspiracy theorist. Put those two together, add wine and you’ll get discussion on Gun Control, black helicopters and L. Ron Hubbard. Good thing you love us.
Just Sayin’

To my Daddy
I missed you this Thanksgiving. A lot.
Just sayin’

To The Bayshore Mall
If I’m going to drag my sorry ass up at the butt crack of dawn to shop at the mall, I would appreciate a little bit more offering than a fucking contest that involves texting randomly every hour and being told “You’re not a winner”. (I only did it once. Some of us can barely pay our Cell Phone bill as it is)
Next year? I recommend a LOT more incentive because I don’t like mornings. AT ALL.
Just Sayin’

To The Redneck
Sure, I’m thrilled you’ve found a place where other poets are reading your work. Yeah, I’m ecstatic that you’re getting a positive response. Of course I love to hear your latest fucking revision of your poem. But you DO remember I do this writing thing, right? You are aware that I didn’t get to write for a week as Thanksgiving ripped through our home like a tornado. Does writing poetry have something to do with not emptying the garbage? I can see that the clash of the creative egos is going to be ugly. I write smut. I’ll win, asshole.
Just Sayin’



Filed under Just Sayin

11 responses to “A Writer’s Funk Just Sayin’

  1. Thanks for adding a chuckle to my Monday morning. Your kids were up at 3am – ARGH!
    And to your poetry writing Redneck… She totally wins, dude.
    It’s a balls thing ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Jen

    LMAO Wylie. I’m totally using that with The Redneck.

  3. I have to stop by here on Monday. Love your list. And Redneck poetry … is he reading it to you? Just asking …

  4. Jen

    Um, yes, Nina. Every time he revises something or writes something new. I’m getting a little bitter about it. LOL.
    Actually, he’s very talented and I’m hoping he really gets far with it.

  5. Kym

    Jen, I’d love to read his pieces. Are they available online?

  6. Jen

    Kym you’d have to go to Absolute Write forum and check the poetry critique section. That’s where he’s been posting brave soul that he is.

  7. verybadcat

    I hate it when they slack on trash! HELLO? It’s nasty, it smells, there’s stuff to cook bugs in there. NOT OPTIONAL.

    I like to wait until the mudroom is festering with neglected trash, hand WH an empty cereal box, and ask him to throw it out. I watch him look at the overflowing can, and the full bags surrounding it, and realized, he’s been nagged, and he didn’t even realize it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. Kym

    Okay, I went but he’s hiding under some alias besides Redneck.

  9. I think my mojo is vacationing with yours. I’ve been working on my Black Friday posting since Saturday and just haven’t had the energy to finish it up. I think I need to drink some wine and lock the kids in a big, soundproof room with a couple of pizzas and a bottle of Pepsi. You can drop your boys off too :-).

  10. 3.00am??? What were they thinking? Wait, I don’t think they were! When I hear things like that it makes me glad I don’t have kids.

    May your mojo suffer a hangover and decide to come back home. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Jen

    LOL That’s perfect VBC!!!! It doesn’t work with mine. He just shoves it down. *grumble grumble*
    Kym, I emailed you.
    Oh NO!! Sandi!! Well, if I know our Mojos, they’re drinking whiskey with beer chasers. LOL.
    Well, Shelley, my mojo returned but I think it was still drunk since the only thing it would work on was the historical I never intended to write.
    So, “Discarded” got another 10K and is a novella I’m going to submit soon.
    Go figure?

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