Conundrum

First, thank you to all of who commented on yesterday’s post. To update the situation, let me say I have no idea what will happen Monday.
And I’m still pretty frustrated about the whole thing. I’m probably over reacting. Demolition Boy informed me that he is now in a group and no longer sitting off by himself. He likes his class and doesn’t want to move.
Okay.
So options are limited. I have no idea what will be suggested at this meeting, but I know my boundaries.
I will not medicate my child.
I will not tolerate humiliation as a disciplinary action.
Demolition Boy has made it work for himself, even if his teacher is still having difficulties. I’m so proud of him. He’s taken something so frustrating, so negative, and turned it into something positive.
I’m not sure, now, that pulling him out of his class will be good for him. And I want to do what’s best for him.
We’ll see if his teacher can turn it around as her student has.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Conundrum

  1. It’s to that teacher’s benefit to try to turn things around. Gives her the chance to say she did something with a difficult kid. Even if it’s really not her work but the kid’s. I would say that since he’s made a difference in things, that you sit there and hear her out. Listen to see if she’s just regurgitating all the negative or if she focuses on what changes have been made and if she thinks there are other things could help further the progress that was already made.

    If she’s nothing but negative, then I would suggest a move from her class. Or if she’s negative and not open at all to any suggestions you make regarding how she treats DB. If your kid is willing to give her another chance you can’t really do anything but the same. But do make sure you tell her that what she did in the beginning by isolating him was completely wrong.

    I worked for 8 years in a middle school. If a teacher did that in the school where I worked, my boss would have had them fired or removed. To do that on the very first day before she’d even met him was unconscionable. And that is the teaching professional in me speaking not the mom.

    Good luck, Jen!

  2. I read yesterday and couldn’t think of one thing that might be of help. 😦 I’m still not sure I can.

    It’s good he’s found a way to improve the situation himself. That’s taking the initiative himself and doing something good with it.

    As for the rest, I’d probably feel the same, want to smack the snot out of someone but chop my tongue in half to not do it.

    I do know (and agree) that it was completely inappropriate and negative to do to him. I sincerely hope there’s something that can be done to keep him moving in a positive way forward.

    I’ll be thinking of you.

  3. Jen

    Thanks Winter. I think that’s excellent advice (again) and I’m going to make sure my opinion about the initial actions taken are known. In a respectful way.
    I hope. LOL.
    And Diana, I could use your good thoughts.

  4. I’m just catching up to your posts about Demolition Boy. I don’t have children but I used to be a nanny and worked in day care, so the early childhood educator in me is appalled by the behavior of the teacher and the school. One would think that the good ole days of squelching a person’s love of learning for the sake of conformity were over. Guess not.

    Good luck with your meeting, Jen.

  5. I think it’s great your listening to what D.B. wants to do. In a classroom where all the power was initially taken from him, you’re empowering him by allowing him to make the decision to stay. Hopefully, you can come to some sort of happy medium with Mrs. P, by keeping the lines of communication open and letting her know that you’ll be “one of those” parents if she does your child wrong (again). Good luck.

  6. As a former teacher I am appalled! She didn’t even give him a chance before condemning him on the say-so of someone else that may have had a personality issue with him. Sometimes teachers forget to separate their own feelings from their professionalism.

    My middle daughter was considered an average child and a problem until 4th grade when a new teacher came into the school and took children at face value rather than by the reputation of her siblings (which in a small town many of the teachers have done). When this teacher saw her potential she pushed her to step out of her comfort zone and she stepped up as one of the top students in the class.

    That year is her all time favorite year of school and she’s a sophomore in college.

    A good teacher is gold, but you know that. I’m sorry you and your son are going through this and hopefully the teacher will be reasonable and try to understand your son and his wonderful qualities rather than push him into a box that might not fit.

    Hugs. Best of luck Monday.

  7. Kym

    I hope the meeting goes well. Sounds like the teacher may have realized her mistake. Hopefully, she’ll try even harder now to do the right thing.

    Good luck to you and Demo Boy.

  8. Jen

    I just keep my mantra going “I will remain calm in the face of whatever winds may blow.”

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