To Holly and the Flood Plain Produce stand
I sincerely thank you. Every year we drive to Shively and buy the dirt faced okie boys Blackberry popsicles. Then, it’s a lug of tomatoes and maybe some jalepenos and we’re on our way. You had sweet Pepperwood corn and plums I couldn’t resist this year. I know we only make it out there once a year, but we’re so glad you’re there. It’s a tradition, a pilgrimage. It’s the McKenzie way to celebrate the Fall. As we drive along the Avenue of the Giants surrounded by Redwoods, the smell of the air as it changes from Summer to Fall gives the whole trip just the right flavor. You are very patient with us and our chattiness. You’ve become a part of our history, whether you meant to or not.
To The Heater Guy
It’s finally done and you’re paid. All you’ve got is a little sheet rock to do. SWEET! I have a new heater. Now, can you tell me why every time the damn thing comes on, the smoke alarm goes off.
*sigh* It’s taken six months but I have heat in every room of my house. I have to pinch myself.
To The Redneck
You know all the best places. From our little jaunt out to Grizzley Creek on Saturday where the dirt faced okie boys went swimming to the drive out to McCann where the old ferry used to be, you take us to places that are more fun for us than the soulless trip to some amusement park. You’re the best dad in the world.
To The School System
Be prepared. Next weekend is opening weekend of deer season. Train Boy will talk about nothing else for WEEKS. He is so excited and I expect you won’t be very thrilled to hear his detailed renditions of the hunt. And no, he hasn’t changed from last year when you told him not to share about how his dad killed a deer since other kids might be “sensitive” about death of animals. Though I’ve tried to reinforce the idea that some things don’t get shared at school, he gets excited and doesn’t see why everyone else isn’t. I expect notes to come home.
To The Political Candidates
As interesting as you guys are, I’m finding your rhetoric a bit hollow in the face of recent financial news, my own personal finances and the constant barrage of natural disasters. Maybe it’s just me, but the human suffering in our country (whether it be through man made causes or nature’s fury) seems to trump any of the petty bullshit you guys are throwing around. And both of you are doing it. Just once I’d like a campaign that really addresses the human cost of political folly. Each of you has an argument for this. Is it too difficult to bring up? Can’t you talk about the financial solutions you have for the country without using my misfortune as a soundbite? I’m asking you, is there any way to be REAL for once? Yeah. I know. I’m living in a fantasy world, aren’t I?
To The Media
Get over yourself. You’re not “the news”. You bring the news. Your influence over politics has waned since I’d say most Americans don’t believe much of what you say anymore. We filter out a lot to try and get to the meat of every issue. Oh, sure, there are some who parrot your crap, but mostly we ignore the ugly shit and try and find out facts. Somebody needs to muzzle Keith Obermann and tell Bill O’Reilly that “interviewing” means asking questions, not debating answers. There seems to be an attitude of arrogance in ALL the media corners that makes me wonder if television creates egomania or just draws egomaniacs to it. (I include Tom Brokaw in this. How ANYONE could believe he could replace Tim Russet is beyond me. And yes, I’m bitter). I question your tactics, your information and your delivery. You’re starting to help candidates, not through your support, but through your vicious animosity. And it’s not a good thing when Geraldo makes me laugh during a hurricane. I mean, the man was trying to drum up drama (that wasn’t there) while his camera man was in the background saying “Dude! Shut up!”. It was funny. And there shouldn’t be anything funny during a horrific hurricane.
To my Editors
You are awesome. No, really.