To The Dirt Faced Okie Kids
Wow. Considering we’ve had no schedule and no consistency during this insane summer, you got up, ate breakfast, got dressed and got ready for school this morning with no problem. I was absolutely amazed. And considering how little we knew about what was going to happen, you guys were troopers. *high fives*. You rock.
To My Kid’s Grammar School
Don’t get me wrong. I am so happy my kids go to your hallowed halls BUT I got absolutely NO letter stating there would be no parking due to the changes in the school layout. I got no letter notifying me of what I’d need to pay for. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve been doing this crap for a couple of years, I would have been in trouble. As it was, I was confused. Except that your staff is fantastic and directed me with no problem. Here’s hoping I’ll never have to drive my car to drop off the kids again.
To Barrack Obama
You knew I couldn’t pass up a chance to talk about your choice of running mate. Mr. Biden has always been a man I’ve respected within the party until the last four years. He’s alternated between incorrect forecasts and misplaced criticism. His animosity for particular members of Bush’s cabinet led him to, in my opinion, stick his neck out in a very public way. And he was wrong. Of course, all that is forgotten as he stands arm and arm with you. I don’t question your decision. You had to make a choice and the list wasn’t all that exciting. It is kind of sad to see the politics as usual from both sides. Why did we expect any different?
To John McCain
Wow. You were caught napping. Again. Two things, my friend. Always be aware of your financial status in relation to your constituents and be prepared to defend it. Rather than say you don’t know how many houses you have, maybe say you have an investment firm handling your property. Because frankly, those of us who can’t pay our mortgages every month and who can’t repair broken walls and floors aren’t going to tolerate some rich fuck spouting off about the common man. Don’t even try to pretend like you’re one of us. No politician is. The trick is, can you at least UNDERSTAND where we’re coming from? As a voter, I already realize that politicians have access to money and shit that I don’t, and never will, have. I also realize my entire life isn’t a special on CNN either. It’s a trade off. But you don’t get to be “absent minded” about your wealth. It’s arrogant. I keep telling you and you’re not listening. Don’t be an asshole.
The Olympics are over and let me tell you what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that Bob Costas is an ethnocentric asshole. I’ve learned that China kicks ass. I’ve learned that Benin is a little country who managed to send their athletes despite every disadvantage. I’ve learned that Gold medals aren’t as important as the drive to try as evidenced by the South African marathon swimmer with only one leg. I’ve learned that Somalia’s athletes faced threats from insurgents and apathy from their government, but they came to Beijing and represented their country. I learned all of these things and NOT from your coverage. Isn’t it sad that Phelps was your only focus for four days because he WINS. Isn’t it sad that Usain Bolt was given so much air time because he’s the new world record holder in the 100m? Isn’t it sad that the Olympians that faced adversity, stuck to their dream through pain, and came to Beijing, not to win, but to be there, were not even on your radar? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You missed the point. The Olympics are not about Gold medals and world records. It’s not about the domination of one country over the rest. It’s about the best of the best performing on a world stage and, for one shining moment, they are their country’s brightest star. Your slick, glamorized vision of the games is cynical and sad. I’m just grateful that there were other places, other resources to view the incredible moments these games had. I still love the Olympics. But your coverage sucked big donkey ass.
To Jonah Speigler
I get rid of Donny and you show up all chatty and crap. Why you wouldn’t let me just write your story in a subplot I don’t know. AND you’ve totally taken me into a realm I wasn’t prepared to go into. As a character, you’re making me crazy. Unlike Donny, there’s no rush for me to write your damn story and I’ve got other stuff on my plate. You’re cute and all, but I’m NOT WRITING THAT STORY! Well, not now. Okay maybe a little. *groan* You’re going to start bugging me in the shower, arent’ you.