To Miriam Kriss and Heather Osbourne
I hope you’re used to authors who are terrified. It’s not like I can tell you in the ten minutes we’ll share together that I forgot underwear (and had to buy some), a wine bottle opener (PARTY FOUL) and completely hate everything I packed to wear. It’s not like I can mention that I had a nightmare where I was pitching to you and when I said “Big Foot”, you didn’t know what Big Foot was. So, bear with me. I swear I won’t puke on your shoes.
To What You Ought To Know
What you ought to know is you made the Redneck ranting stop. What a miracle. It’s true! The Redneck was ranting about how all the news stations are running the newest “The Sky Is Falling” story about a island out in the Pacific Ocean that’s made of trash. The Redneck wanted pictures so off I went as the resident geek to find it. Instead, I came across THIS which made me and the Redneck laugh so hard, he forgot to rant. The rest of your videos were equally entertaining and shut the Redneck up for at least an hour. I’m very grateful. Really. Oh, and the whole stalking thing? I’m not really trying to find your home address. Honest.
To the Woman In The Silver Mercedes
who was driving Highway 1 between Legget and Fort Bragg on Friday between 7pm and 8pm. I know the massive RV towing the SUV in front of us was slow. And yes, he probably could have pulled over several times in the ten minutes you were behind us. But when I finally pulled over into a turn out to get you out of my trunk, I don’t think you needed to pass the RV on a blind curve to prove that you were faster. Nor did your one finger salute out the sunroof of your car endear me to you. All I have to say is it must be nice to be able to afford a sweet car AND be an asshole.
To all of you who have had to listen to me whine
as I’m heading off to conference. I probably don’t have enough shoes, but I think I’m getting more Zen about that. The underwear thing I can let go of. But I don’t know if I’ll survive my mother driving me to San Francisco. If you don’t hear from me, send a search party.
To Anyone Who Cares
On August 1st, “Edge of the Storm” will be coming out at Whiskey Creek Press/Torrid. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! This sequel was a blast to write. I hope people like it as much as the first one.