My New Theme Song (Not Safe For Work/Explicit)

I put this up on Facebook and Tweeted it. Still, I want to make sure I share this. LOL!

Sometimes I can be perfectly sweet
Got the sugary me all stuffed up in my sleeve
And I’ll talk of ponies and rainbows and things
And I’m just who you want me to be
But like most creatures down here on the ground
I’m composed of the elements moving around
But I grow and change and I shift and I switch
And it turns out I’m actually kind of a bitch

But that only happens when I get provoked
By some piece of shit asshole we all sadly know
And I sit and I write while reminding you all
That mean songs are still better than going postal

That guy’s an asshole
And that girl’s a bitch
Baby it’s natural
No getting away from it
So sing it out with me
And then let it go
Fuck that guy he’s just an asshole
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sara_bareilles/sweet_as_whole.html ]

I see I’ve surprised you with some of my words
And I know that surprises, while fun, still can hurt
Whatever. I hate to think I have ruined the day
You’re the dick and the queen of the high horse parade
But I’m sick and tired of your poisonous ways
You’re a toxin wasting perfectly good space
And I say what I think
‘Cause it’s more economic than drugs or a drink

That guy’s an asshole
And that girl’s a bitch
Baby it’s natural
No getting away from it
So sing it out with me
And then let it go
Fuck that guy he’s just an asshole

And I won’t let him in
Under my skin
He’s a sad sack of shit
It’s pathetic
Just a festering sore
That will never be more than that
If I don’t let him

That guy’s an asshole
And that girl’s a bitch
Baby it’s natural
No getting away from it
So sing it out with me
And then let it go
Fuck that guy he’s just an asshole

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sara_bareilles/#share

As Promised, “Thirteen Reasons Revisions Are The Bane Of Our Existence”

AKA “Thirteen Reasons Why We Call Each Other When We Have Revisions” AKA another insane conversation (This time on Facebook) between Sofia Harper/Melissa Blue.
From Melissa 1. Because Jen calls me four times a day to whine about them even though all the calls before that was Where are my revisions?
2. Because I gladly talk to her for hours on end because I’m avoiding my revisions that I did not wish for in my inbox.
From Jen 3. Because it’s fun to fight over the word “sundries”.
4. Because everyone likes to feel like shit every now and again…..
From Melissa 5. Because while bitching about revisions I can say things like I’d give a back alley blow job for ______
‎6. Because we like to say More! for five minutes at each other just to see who becomes homicidal first.(Ok. Maybe this should be Why We Call Each Other While We Have Revisions Thursday 13. And, Jen, for the record, it’s ‘sundry’ (bwahahahahaha!))
From Jen. SUNDRIES! 7. Because Crown Royal needs money too.
8. Because Phillip Morris would go broke if I stopped smoking…..
‎9. Because discussing the latest blog drama is WAY more fun than doing revisions……
10. Because the Redneck likes to breathe.
From Melissa ‎11. Because, of course, why wouldn’t we WANT revisions. It’s all You’re wonderful. This is great and funny. Wait…
‎12. Because if we didn’t have revisions we might have no excuse for why our houses are dirty. Can’t. Have. That.
‎13. Because nothing says You’re Pretty like a release date and a cover reveal.

Memorial Day

It’s funny. My Dad died in August 2002 suddenly after a routine shoulder surgery and the day in August goes by and I don’t think about it. But on Memorial Day weekend, I miss him. A lot. He served in the Korean War, a forgotten conflict every bit as ugly and damaging as Vietnam. Much of what he did in Korea he wouldn’t talk about, but he lived with nightmares and shrapnel in his legs. My Dad was a Marine, a drill instructor and a dedicated soldier. Even when he was a civilian, he worked on nuclear submarines at Mare Island shipyard in Vallejo, California for 39 years. His one true love was books and he taught me so much about history, politics and literature. There are so many days that I think “My Dad would love this book” and want to call him and tell him.
This weekend, as our Boy Scouts place flags on the graves of Veterans in Fortuna, I know he’d be so proud of us. We’ve continued the tradition of honoring those who served our country. And Dad, I vote at every election, even when I don’t want to. I wish you could have seen what awesome boys my sons have become. You would be so happy.

Thirteen Reasons To Use The Word “Parastorical”

And Sofia Harper thought I was kidding…..
This was part of a Twitter conversation and I thought it would be fun to share.

1. It Sounds Cool.
2. it totally avoids the word “historical” which would sic all those really intense historical fans on me.
3. It throws a little of the word “paranormal” in there without all the world building.
4. Squirrel
5. It maintains the prefix “para”
Which means “beyond” so it’s beyond a historical and therefore see #2
6.It removes the word “his” from “historical”
See number 2
7. The implication of door knobs is totally absent.
seriously. I know and author who researched door knobs for hours for a book. And then said so on Twitter. Boggled my mind. I suck at research.
8. It kind of sounds like Parahysterical
Which would be “beyond hysterical” and fit my stuff perfectly.
9, It’s easier to say than “BDSM Erotic Romance Paranormal Historcal
Which is what “Wolf Of Arundale Hall” is.
10. It’s shorter than “Paranormal”
11. I don’t think any books I write should have the word “normal” in them
Total false advertising. LOL!
12. Squirrel
13. It could start a new trend
It could happen!!!

Some days……

I miss my Dad. He’s the one who introduced me to books, who encouraged me to read, who gave me a little backbone when it would have been easier to cave in. I lost him in August 2002 and I wasn’t ready.
I miss him a lot today.

Always in a rush
Never stay on the phone long enough
Why am I so self-important?
Said I’d see you soon
But that was, oh, maybe a year ago
Didn’t know time was of the essence

So many questions
But I’m talking to myself
I know that you can’t hear me any more
Not anymore
So much to tell you
And most of all goodbye
But I know that you can’t hear me any more

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

Always talking shit
Took your advice and did the opposite
Just being young and stupid
I haven’t been all that you could’ve hoped for
But if you’d held on a little longer
You’d have had more reasons to be proud
[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/words-lyrics-skylar-grey.html ]

So many questions
But I’m talking to myself
I know that you can’t hear me any more
Not anymore
So much to tell you
And most of all goodbye
But I know that you can’t hear me any more

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words

The longer I stand here
The louder the silence
I know that you’re gone but sometimes I swear I hear
Your voice when the wind blows
So I talk to the shadows
Hoping you might be listening ‘cos I want you to know

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
And as I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said
Never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

Read more: SKYLAR GREY – WORDS LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/words-lyrics-skylar-grey.html#ixzz1vhhTWRbP
Copied from MetroLyrics.com

Nobody Speaks The Truth On The Internet According To Google

Okay. Just a warning. This post will be an honest expose of some of my passing thoughts that I do NOT allow much time in my head, so please don’t worry.
I opened my mail this morning. Past Due bill, bounced check notice (shit, I didn’t think any of them got returned damnit) a pathetic royalty check, and more bills. Now, last week was HELL with everything going wrong that could go wrong. I started smoking a pack a day (after being off cigarettes for three years) and off my diet. My allergies kicked in and the Redneck went from 0 to Dickhead in about ten seconds. Let’s just say that since the first of the year, I’ve been fighting EVERYTHING!!! Including my own brain.
Now, it’s a known fact that my brain is out to kill me. I accept this. I recognize that it entertains thoughts that would worry my family and friends. My music that I listen to is a reflection of this muck and mire that I expunge through my writing.
But I always believed I wasn’t the only one who spiraled into despair at the smallest provocation and had to dig back out. Imagine my shock when I googled “Putting a bullet in my brain is sounding really good right now” and got….nothing. So, we don’t admit this on the internet? We don’t tell the truth? That sometimes it just pops into our brains and we fight to kick it out? Seriously?
And here I thought the internet was the bastion of freedom and honesty. (stop laughing)!
Look, the truth is that a lot of people have “thoughts”. No, I don’t sit there and dwell on it. That would be fucking dangerous for me. But thoughts go by and I make a conscious decision not to throw parties for it. What shocks me is that there’s no other post, no other confession on the internet that pops up when I google it.
I believe that bringing that shit out into the light can take away its power. In my dark, dank mind, it grows and festers. But I know that most people aren’t comfortable, get worried, when I share the thoughts that come and go.
Writing is one form of my therapy out of it. My characters often feel that their death would serve a higher purpose than their life. And I usually prove them wrong. Just like I KNOW that’s not true for me.
But shit, it would be nice to know I’m not the only one who goes there on occasion, who acknowledges that dark part of me and then shines a bright light on it to reveal it as only a passing moment.
The one thing that depression, addiction and loneliness breeds is…you guessed it….depression, addiction and loneliness. I choose to recognize the cycle and take a right turn, go at an obtuse angle, and kick it in the balls. But if I never look at it, or say it, or SEE it, then round and round I go.
So, speak the truth people. I know I’m not the only one out there. Give Google something to work with.

Thirteen Complete Surprises I’ve Had This Week

Almost all the surprises I’ve had were about season finales of the shows I watch. Some were good. Some? Not so much.
1. Fringe
OMG. I’ve only watched part one of the season finale and I’m not sure I want to watch part II. They SHOT ASTRID!!!!! I hate those stupid cliffhanger finales.
2. Survivor Episode 12
I was behind on my episodes, so I caught up and was STUNNED that the girls turned on one of their own before they voted off the final male left in the game. That said, kudos to the women for being the first season to have five women in the final five.
3. Survivor Season Finale
I was pretty surprised all around!!! This is the first time I liked ALL THREE of the finalists, even the one who manipulated the game from the beginning. It was actually a good season…once they got Colton off the show. You know they’re going to bring that bastard back. So not going to watch it when he’s back.
4. Castle
CASTLE! CASTLE! CASTLE! Season finale? Hot and absolutely STUNNING!!!! It’s the only season finale that didn’t piss me off. LOL!
5. The Redneck Didn’t Get Friday Off
And I’m packing everything for a Boy Scout Camporee this weekend. Um, yeah. Not so awesome.
6. My Kids Did A Commercial
We did a commercial at one of our local radio stations for a fundraiser we’re doing for Relay For Life. I wrote a script (I thought would suck. It worked! Surprise!) and it went great!
7. NCIS
I think the only season that ended with more of a surprise was the one where the last scene was Ziva being blown up in a bar. That one pissed me off too.
8. NCIS LA
I am SO PISSED about the season finale for this one. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It was a TOTALLY SURPRISING cliffhanger, but DAMN it was so frustrating to be left hanging. The only thing I can think is that it’s a trick and we’ll find out that G really didn’t just shoot that bad guy in cold blood.
9. Two Months Free Overages
Verizon gave me a promotional that saved me from overages. It was a very NICE surprise
10. I Blew Up My Checking Account
Surprise! Ugh. LOL!
11. Once Upon A Time
This show really shocked me. First, they killed Henry. Then they brought him back. THEN they released a purple cloud. Um…..call me totally surprised.
12. Phone calls with My Best Friend
Michelle and I are so busy usually and we’ve had very little time to connect, but I got to talk to her twice this week which was AWESOME!!!!
13. Fundraiser Was Awesome
The Scouts had a fundraiser and I was pleasantly surprised at how much money we brought in!!! They did a great job.